The Wars Within

Greetings in Gratitude!

First, my gratitude to those of you who have given me such positive feedback on this blog. While on hiatus I was grateful for your support and a reminder that we are all connected, whatever the circumstances. Struck by new thought and energy all of you are on my mind.

For some years I have known that I am sensitive to daily products. I stopped using milk long ago. But the symptoms seemed a small price to pay for enjoying cheese, ice cream, etc. And I have held a belief that whatever the symptom, with intention and attention anything can be released. So I have experimented, indulged and negotiated with my system to continue the use of dairy. Then I broke out with a miserable itchy patch of eczema from neck to collarbone, and the misery of it prompted a discovery process.

I'll interrupt that discovery to relate the process of I use to release any symptom.

Speak first to the symptom, and it could be mental, emotional or physical. Thank the symptom for holding the wisdom you need to improve your life. Thank it for its wisdom and for the service it provides. In this instance I thanked my skin. Give it permission to inform you of that wisdom, breathe and relax into the breath, surrendering any thought or emotion. Give it permission to recall its perfect function. It will, when ready, give you a message, and further surrender will offer you the opportunity to integrate the benefits.

Yesterday I followed this process, and today the symptom is much less itchy and red. This morning, talking with Nancy, I realized several things about our symptoms and stored memory.

All symptoms are stored in layers of our mental, emotional and physical experience. This I have always believed. What I had not realized is the belief I have also held that I had some responsibility to hold it until I fully understood it or resolved/defeated it. And to further add to the impact, this is a family symptom; my sister, granddaughter, niece, nephew and probably others all have some reaction to dairy products. And it seems that when we share a symptom with other family members, we may hold a fatalistic acceptance that the symptoms are inherited, therefore inevitable. Oh, it is karmic, but not inevitable.

This morning I saw myself again as a knight of the Knights Templar, fighting to assert the cause, fighting to protect my principles. Then I saw the young woman, Laurel, who is another of my soul's identities, fighting against the tyranny of my captors in the WWII prison camp.

Each feels self-righteous and beleaguered. Each has courage combined with a sense of doom.

Those memories underly my beliefs of survival. My ancient self affects my present-day self.

I produce symptoms related to more than dairy. Dairy serves as the trigger.

Revealing my symptoms is key to my becoming System.

I have revealed that my system believes it is necessary to go to battle to prove myself worthy; to persist until I understand and prove the worth in the struggle.

It still believes in struggle. Yes, I teach best what I most need to learn.*

And I know now that my war in the emotional system rages in my physical system. And that the war in my system uses energy I could use elsewhere. My calories are used to maintain the struggle. My system fights against dairy, and I suffer a loss of energy.

Vitality wanes as the war between the physical and emotional rages.

I will use my breath to release dairy from my system. Remaining in my moment, and speaking with love to my system, I retrieve my balance and relieve the struggle of those who have served me for centuries. I thank every part of me that has held all of this for my benefit.

Until next time,

I am, Phyllis, still becoming

*Richard Bach in ILLUSIONS