A Tribute to Blue

This post is to honor an old and dear friend, Blue.

He had a brave heart and a spirit that connected deeply with those he loved.

I was blessed to be one of those people.

I was not of his home family, but somehow he let me know I was adopted.

He was a very big, black dog, I think a blend of lab and chesapeake.

He was fierce in defense of his home and gentle in his spirit.

When on the phone with my sister, I could hear him nearby, his big chest

heaving with happy, expectant panting. He loved deeply and retrieved like a champion.

On his last day, he insisted on going swimming with Judith. His severe heart disease

would not deter him. And so they swam, she says, he looking at her, questioning,

when the rain fell hard, out on the lake, just the two of them. And they swam.

Then quietly alone in the night as dogs do, his spirit returned to the Great

Mystery called Dog, leaving us to grieve our loss and to celebrate his life.

Thank you, Blue, for all you gave us. When the time is right, your spirit,

so big, so strong, will find its way back to this family who loves you so.

Floating to the Top

Greetings in Gratitude!

While writing yesterday's post, I could not bring to mind the 3rd message I had received on waking. I let it go, and it came to me as I fell asleep last night. The message deserves its own attention, so here we go...

Stretching to come awake, greeting the day and everyone I love, I said aloud, "A day when I am answerable to no one." Then I heard myself and saw the irony in the message. I have lived my life in the belief that others have expectations of me, and that to live an honorable life, I must respond. Can't I just enjoy a day of simplicity without guilt?

My message, then, is to reveal that I have been carrying in my old and moldy system a belief that I am answerable to others, for what I do and the manner in which I choose to do it. Aaaarrrrghhhh as the cartoonist might say. This again!?

Yes, this again. I brought to this life this ancient thread of consciousness, to reveal and resolve a theme shared by many of us. We are raised in a traditional hierarchy that calls upon us to answer to those in power for what we do. Thus we grow to live our lives self-consciously. Is this acceptable, have I done anything wrong, will I earn their respect? Instinctively we look for permission or acceptance from God or from just about anyone in our personal world order.

Who's in charge here?!

We do not set out to live this way, not consciously, but our reactions speak volumes. This is not the first post in which I've explored this theme. It runs so deeply in my system that it comes up in layers, and perhaps the same is true for you. Our language reveals what our emotional and mental bodies hold for our review, only as we are ready.

When I meet with clients, so often I hear them say to me just the opposite of what I know they intend. Our conscious, intentional selves are reaching for a goal, and we're smart, so we trust ourselves to be on a productive path. Then, we open our mouths and out comes the theme in the spontaneous language we use to describe our situation. My spontaneous language revealed that this theme of living in reaction to some outside force is not resolved. It also reveals that I have intention to achieve this resolution. The symptom has revealed itself, and using breath I bring closer the Wisdom that can release the effect in my life.

This is the celebration! Yes, the belief is still active in my life. Do I choose to live this way? No. But I do not blame the symptom. Symptoms are not bad, they are powerful communicators. Realizing them we can promote ourselves. Having revealed the symptom, my Wisdom and the Symptom can get together for the Cosmic dance that releases this effect from my life.

I trust my System to inform me. Breath allows my Wisdom to reveal itself. There is Wisdom in every symptom and I embrace it. I do not try to figure out how to correct this symptom.

We can block our best intentions by triggering the logic that would pursue the remedy. Stay out of the way. Breathe and surrender to that Wisdom that is swimming to the top of your consciousness. Trust yourself. Trust that you are a Wise and buoyant being. You will float to the top; you will survive this deep plunge into the depths of your being. Float and breathe; be and become. We are all doing it together, and I am grateful.

Until next time, Breathing with you,

I am Phyllis, Becoming

Communications and the Mystery

Greetings in Gratitude!

Each of the past three mornings I wakened with a phrase which I received with gratitude for the way Wisdom works for me and embraces the good of others at the same time. One was, "To thine own self be true." There are so many meanings to this message that I can't begin to translate it here, but it had meaning for me and for others. This morning's message was for myself and a dear friend who is facing a personal challenge, and the meanings unfolded with the morning.

We are all riding the tide of Cosmic Consciousness. Whether you hear a voice or realize parts of your day coinciding to bring you a synchronistic message, our days are full of messages to support, guide and comfort us. And sometimes it's only in the aftermath that we realize the significance. And with delight we know we are part of a Whole that knows us perfectly and communicates with us in the most inspiring and joyful ways.

The latest (July 26) crop circle in the U.K. (see Crop Circle Connector) is a communicator; if any have been, then this one surely is. Parts of it are language symbols. And although we have not translated their meaning it feels like only a matter of time before we realize the message.

I am thrilled with this latest communication, and yet I realize it is no more significant than the messages we receive every day.

We only give the appearance of humans trying to figure out the mystery. We are beings living the mystery. Although it is not solved, and often we feel frustrated by its elusive messages, we are, each of us, parts of the mystery, and by our unique experience we are fitting our parts into the Whole to reveal the mystery further each and every day. Every part, every relationship, every task or job, every discovery of Self, perfect to the Whole.

Can we trust our creation? Will we breathe and trust ourselves, as we are, where we are, when we are. Each moment perfect. Will we hold each moment as a sacred contract in that mystery, savoring its meaning and the Whole of which that moment is a part. Let's embrace each breath as a key revealing the mystery each of us holds. Until next time, I am

Breathing with you,

I am Phyllis, Becoming

Parables and Masters

Greetings in Gratitude!

In several conversations lately, I've found others like me who are bringing to the surface these days the human belief/stream of consciousness regarding the lives of others and how they might be "fixed." And closely related is the trouble we get into when we feel the whole responsibility for a group situation.

Now, if you've walked the path of the Truth Student for some time, you've contemplated before this truth: Everyone's Plan is perfect. Yet, especially with people we love, when there's an issue, an illness, a family conflict, a child struggling - well, you name it and we've visited there - then we react. This gut-level reaction is so deeply imbedded that we hardly realize we are having one.

What came up as an example of this life lesson is the parable Jesus offered in THE PRIMER channeled guidance from God and the Masters that I channeled in 1983 and published in 1986:

In the days of Jesus Christ, a man came to Jesus complaining that his wife refused to meet the Master and to learn about God. Jesus answered the man thus: "What purpose would it serve if you forced your wife to come when she chooses not to listen?" "But, the man said, "why does she so stubbornly refuse to come and hear the great Truth?" "My son, Jesus said, "why do you not hear the truth? Each will come to God in his own way and in his own time. Do you seek to serve your own needs in your attempts to persuade your wife? Surely she is of God as you are. Did you know God last week? And how close to God are you in this week if you use the Truth to browbeat your wife? Surely you will persuade her better by living the Truth than by wielding it as a weapon."

Although this parable is specific to faith, still it applies to our deeply held belief that what we know is more reliable that what another knows, especially when we see them struggling. I had to address this in myself when I felt so compelled by my training with the Masters. I was so filled with zealous energy to share everything I "knew." They discouraged my telling anyone for months. And only then to bring it up gently to those closest to me. Thank you, Vishnu, for guiding me so wisely. I was sensitive enough even after the heat had cooled in me.

Jesus' words are a standard by which we can live our lives more peacefully. I need not be the crusader, charging out to "save" anyone. I can recognize the result of reaction; anxiety that always follows when I give away my power. I can breathe, recall the perfection in all people in all things. In breath I am able to identify what role I might play that is respectful of the Perfect Plan. This does not make me an uninvolved or complacent human. On the contrary, in breath, acting as System, I am able to fulfill my role as an observer and objective participant.

Then, the Consciousness is stimulated to create a channel between Minds through which all are served.

To address this further, I always see the several Masters who came to Earth, each part of the one Soul holding that Truth which would guide the human journey of the tribe to which that Master was related. As they came to the planet, each to lead in their own Truth, they were all of Source, equally endowed with the perfection that would inspire others.

And so the Buddha came in his time for the tribe that would follow him, and Jesus in his time, and Muhammed, and Moses, and Allah and so forth. None of these would argue with any other. Each knew the Truth that would serve the planet best at that time and for those people. No distinction came with them that separated them from any other. Diverse human experience is the result, and System says that all are necessary, all are critical to the whole fabric of human evolution.

And so are you, and so am I, and so is the person who tugs at your heart with an appearance that something is "wrong," or challenges your peace by insisting that you must be the person to intervene or at least be sympathetic. Oh, my teachers, thank you all. Perfect.

Until next time, Breathing with you,

I am Phyllis, Becoming

Cosmic Hitchhiker

Greetings in Gratitude!

Talking with my son the other night on the phone, he asked how I was and I said I was managing the latest global energy shift, and he asked me to explain it. This is not the first conversation we've had about other dimensions, and he not only gets it, he's had his own alternate reality trips, so he knows, not just believes.

So I described it to him as I have here in a previous post, and he interpreted the effect on human experience in a way that I thought many folks might relate to:

People gather in a room with plexiglass walls, contained and complete. It becomes the place where they feel most at home, most comfortable. At ease there, they do not notice when one of the walls disappears. Then one day one of them happens to step outside the room, but feeling oddly, he steps quickly back within the known space. But soon curiosity gets the best of him and he tries it again, then again, staying out longer each time until the alternate space becomes as familiar as the original home. Not everyone knows what discovery he has made, and he does not understand it, really. Most occupants do not take the step outside, but some others do follow curiously, and so it goes. And as the discovery becomes part of their world, those who go become the explorers whose journey is integrated into the consciousness of all inhabitants.

(I've paraphrased, since I did not record the conversation, so I am not entering it as a quote.)

Thank you, Scott, for permission to use your visualization. His full name is R. Scott McCoy, and he is an author whose second novel will be published this fall. If you are into horror, just go to Amazon.com and type in his name. Both my children amaze me, and have been my spiritual gymnasium; teaching me to breathe and to surrender their perfect creations.

The shift may be complete for me, as far as it has gone. Though still sleeping intermittently, my system is more at ease. As I view the energy field (plexiglass wall) it is rippling, a little like a mirage, but it seems to be stationary. We have time to adjust, adapt and integrate before the next cycle. Nancy, reading blogs from across the planet, says the next two weeks promise to be especially powerful, with Venus entering on 8/6, my sister's birthday. Seems so perfect that the gentling energy would enter on Judith's natal day.

Tomorrow we're into parables, reflecting on the life of Jesus the Christ, and realizing how those who have led us, all of them I believe, stepped into this world out of one soul to provide the examples we could follow in our quest exploring and perfecting the human experience.

Until then, Breathing with you,

I am Phyllis, Becoming

Heavenly Hosts

Greetings in Gratitude!

"To live a life of ease," they said, teaching us to breathe and to ask for assistance. And this past week, managing the energy of this new Earth cycle, I've called on that help to share the impact and to give my physical system a needed break. Today I am confident that by tomorrow I'll be able to see clients and bring my cousin in for our shared weekend.

That "life of ease," is what we are creating. As Earth evolved into this new phase a life of ease has become not only possible, but is the prevailing condition available to each of us. Will we all enjoy it? Are we all destined to realize it? No. The truth is, as we spiral into the new cycle there as many choices on the planet as there are people.

Back in the 80's we were told that we could expect increasing disparity in the human condition.

"As the pendulum swings far in one direction, so will it swing as far in the opposite direction." In other words, the disparity increases the further along we evolve. As one client said, "Is there more dumb out there?" Well, yes, but so is there more Wisdom. And as there is more pain, so is there greater joy.

As Peter says in Acts 10:34, "God is no respecter of persons." My interpretation of this well-known scripture is to say that the Creator is neutral. Each person is created in a pattern born of spiritual, mental, emotional and physical DNA, designed to explore the human experience. Free will combined with that genetic code determines the manner in which we take the journey. No external power predetermines the manner in which we perceive or live our lives.

So we have choices, every day. What was true yesterday need not be true today if we consciously choose otherwise. Or what we had yesterday that gave us joy expands today as we will it. Breath will take us to new levels of our 3-dimensional life, and breath will move us into new dimensions of the life we have not yet dreamed.

Let us not be complacent. Breathing deeply, let's embrace that which we cannot yet see. Your Spirit/System knows what will serve you best. Trust it. Become intimate with it. Breath takes us to that Wisdom. And when we are served and filled to overflowing, our energy will expand to offer service where it will best serve others. Thus we live in exchange. And in exchange we thrive. A life of ease becomes us.

Until next time, Breathing with you,

I am Phyllis, Becoming

Transformations

Greetings to you in New Dimension!

As I begin today I am filled with a knowing that much of what I have to share is not in my brain but coming from Mind and probably surprising me as I share it with all of you.

Sunday was an especially altering experience for me, as I assume it was for so many of you, and I will speak more to the global implications in a moment. First, to my church family, I thank all of you who shared your Sunday with me. I don't quite know how I got through the service. My message was about the difference between brain/logic and Mind/God. One thing that did not make it into my message is what I share with you now.

As we come together in Mind, all things are possible. The need now to do so intentionally, supporting personal, global and cosmic transformation, compels us. Our ability to combine in Mind is expanded, so we will not be surprised at our spontaneous activity in this direction.

Perhaps I could not speak of it on Sunday because we were so in the energy of a transformation on the weekend that I had no words to express it. I could feel the change in the energy of the church, but the tremors of transformation had so engaged me from the first hug to the last that I could not express it.

And my physical system was reacting, making it possible only to pay attention to myself. As I told the folks who had stayed for sessions, the physical reaction was like the first time I drove into the energy of Sedona, Arizona. And I'm not likely to forget either of these.

We who follow the path of the Planetary Pilgrim, for many years have sat singly and in groups to meditate and to serve the planetary expansion of consciousness. We knew how to do this in Third Dimensional Earth. I am suggesting that in New Earth we are beckoned into Mind convergence more intentionally these days. Many channels who write of global change called last weekend's energy Conscious Convergence. I thank dear friend, Nancy, for playing her significant role in advising me what is out there in global conversation on the web.

One old friend said when we talked after service on Sunday that I was not myself. And when I looked in the mirror before the service, I was struck by an image that surely did not look like the person who left my apartment that morning. It reminds me now of the shifts in the planes of the face of my old friend, Michael, when he would channel God's messages. Michael, but not Michael. Me, but not me. Earth, but not the Earth we have known.

The past few weeks I've been in what I could only describe as a state of suspended animation, breathing deeply and shuddering to adjust to something coming, something as yet unknown. Well, this is it. And I bow to those who have written about it, calling it the Conscious Convergence. To me, this morning, it is a shift in the planes of Consciousness that alters our view of ourselves, of the planet and of Cosmic Mind in which we are all related. As I stand out beyond three-dimensional Earth, I see the angles, like geometrical sheets of light, along which we joined with Cosmic Consciousness. The angles have shifted and are drifting. And so has our personal energy, from 3rd dimension reality to an expanded version of ourselves. Looking at physical life, I see us walking as if levitating above the surface of the planet. And looking at the latest crop circle, I can feel it. (see earlier post for website)

For the past two weeks I've been inspired to say, "I am Light." Whenever I look at my body, think of my place on the planet, realize how perfect is my Plan, "I am Light." Now I know the shift is more than I knew. And I love being surprised, so tah-dah! And my physical body has mostly recovered its balance, so I am grateful.

As more is known, I will happily share it. And I hope you who have comments and related experiences will navigate the "comment" section and share your thoughts. Don't let it intimidate you, use the simplest access and let it go at that. I thank you. How blessed I am to share this journey with all of you. Breathing into this new dimension with all of you,

Until next time,

I am Phyllis, Becoming

Stress Release and So Much More

Greetings in Gratitude!

Having just spent the night at the emergency room with Mom, I will spend part of this day catching up on sleep and part of it contemplating a clear intention to assist both Mom and myself in reducing her stress around aging and dealing with the uncommon incidents aging produces.

All is well. She fell forward into a doorjamb on Wednesday and hit her head hard, but she was fine until last night when she woke with headache and increased swelling. The short of it is we had great folks to help us in the E.R. and she got an AOK from the doc.

How we deal with stress is a recurring subject this week, so here we are. One friend relates that a person from her history has lost memory of their time together, apparently related to a very stressful incident that occurred at the same time. Mom and I discussed her loss of memory about things that happened at the time her 2nd husband was dying. One of my kids has a distorted, compressed memory of the time of my divorce. Amnesia may complicate the story of our lives, but it has benefits.

The brain has a finite capacity to cope with stress and triggers a defense mechanism that allows us to process and function in a survival mode. It's a natural survival mechanism, really. And Mind is fully operational while mental, emotional and physical functions may be depressed.

This reminds me of driving one night, crossing the old I35 bridge downtown, and suddenly slamming into my body - from where I do not know. I have no memory of where I was while I was driving. Driving while out-of-body, I am assured, is more competent driving than the alternative. We know how to operate perfectly through Mind. The brain is born of density, and while necessary and sacred, is not the part of us to rely upon.

I made a comment to a friend yesterday in an email that her process was like pulling herself through a knothole backwards, not because I recommend this, but because it felt like the place she found herself, and giving it character might help. Well, this a.m. I got her email and realized I had planted an image that was negative, so feeling into the opposite image, System said to use "helium-filled thought balloons" to follow her process. Ahhh, so much better.

We are not relegated to the drama of stress and its accompanying fallout. We can engage Mind to manage any situation. And we can share the benefit with others (Mom) with simple intention. It is always and inevitably present and available. We use it all the time without realizing it. To be intentional with Mind, we breathe. Of course, the trigger to Cosmic Consciousness/Mind/System is always the breath. It works for heads of state, for janitors at the Pentagon, for doctors, for inventors, for wait-people, for mothers and fathers, and for caregivers of all stripes. It always works when we let it. It always works when we BREATHE.

Until next time, breathing,

I am Phyllis, Becoming

The Infinite and a Finite Spider

Greetings in Gratitude!

Just a few things today, perhaps related, maybe not. Well, we know all things are related, but I guess you know what I mean.

Spiders. I'm not fond of them. I can appreciate them from afar, but have one suddenly appear at eye level and I'm a kid again with the repetitive and haunting dream of spiders all over me in the dark. Shivers of revulsion. And I've had two this week. I am not a killer, but my reflexes are faster than you'd think for a 68-year-old woman. I blessed and thanked it after it was dead. Oh, well. And then this morning as I was waking up, another one, in the dark, dropping from the ceiling. And then I couldn't find it. So I'm up. I'll make the bed later. It's early.

I could call the office and have the exterminator come, but for me that is no option. The nasty chemicals are worse than spiders. Now, if I had roaches (TYG I don't have roaches). No, if I had roaches I would use my own remedy and I would wish them all dead with no apologies.

Up before dawn, I've enjoyed my usual ritual of standing at my open patio door, thanking the Mother and the Father for this unique and lovely day. There are sufficient lingering clouds to catch the sunrise and offer us the gifts of color to birth the day. I love dawn.

I've posted a photo with this blog now. It's the best picture of my sis, Judith, and myself that I can remember. And I celebrate teaching myself how to isolate one photo and export it to the blog. Teaching myself things about my computer is another thing I love. There is so much to celebrate in this life.

Yesterday I was suddenly inspired to pull a folder holding all my rental information. So I was leafing through current and old lease agreements, and there was a trifold note that looked familiar somehow. It's a note that accompanied fees from Barbara Lynn, dated June, 2007, the month she died. I don't know how it slipped into that file. I faintly remember receiving it, but had not seen it since her sudden leap from this life to the next. So I knew she was trying to get my attention. She kept saying, "Conversation." So we have been having a conversation.

I realize once again how much easier it is for me to translate a message for a client than it is for me to have a personal conversation with friends and family who have "passed on." (They've gone nowhere, so I'm determined to find new language for those whose bodies die.) Anyway, teacher that she is, Barbara is helping me practice this ongoing and delightful communication between dimensions. Thank you, Barbara. Our friendship is alive and well, and I am grateful.

I've heard that we are never more than 6 feet away from a spider. System tells me that spiders symbolize infinity and capturing the dreams. All of the messages of my past three days have certainly been connected. I celebrate the simplicities of life and my teachers in it.

Until next time, breathing with you,

I am Phyllis, Still Becoming

The Power of Being

Greetings in Gratitude!

Simply Being. This is not the territory into which I was born. Oh, it was there. We are all born with this Wisdom stored within us. But the conscious self was not geared to simply Being. The irony of this journey back to where we all came from is certainly enlightening. And it tests us.

I woke this a.m. with a plan in place. My wonderful Faun, the Buick created last year at this time, is in need of brakes, so I'd planned this day to have it done. I hadn't been up long before I began hearing, "Tuesday." Tuesday, what? Clearly, Tuesday to have the brakes done. My stubborn, logical self, said, "No, today is the day I have planned and nothing else to do." "Tuesday," IT said.

I know this comes from my Wise Self. I know there is a reason - not fully realized yet. I am not at the service station, so my Wise Self has convinced me, while at the same time, I am feeling a bit shiftless for not having gone. Some gifts have already come from not going. First, time to write and share with all of you, then....

Nancy and I chatted and she pointed out the newest - July 9 - posting on the website called

Crop Circle Connector. If you choose to go there, it's www.cropcircleconnector.com. It takes a little practice to locate what you want, but it is well worth the navigation. Click on the bar Latest Crop Circles and then to EJuly (early July) and go to July 9th. We agree that anyone who has questioned the authenticity of the crop circles must take another look. This one is certainly out-of-this-world amazing. There are several aerial views, and I hear, "All knowledge contained within," as I let myself sink into the close-up view.

An obvious gift also comes from being at home this a.m. It is a lovely, low humidity, cool morning, simply to breathe and enjoy, and to celebrate that I am capable of living according to my Design within. My Design will inform me how I benefit from having my brakes done tomorrow. And breathing into that formless place, reveals yet another layer of confidence in spontaneous, intuitive living.

Yesterday, feeling a little more odd that usual, I said aloud, "What is this all about?" And I heard, "Expect to feel a little squirrely from time to time as you are reconstructed." My reference to this reconstruction, is, of course, my intention to become System. And so it goes. To the point, expect nothing. Not expecting, I can enjoy. Enjoying, I am attuned more to my Inner Design. Living from my Inner Design, I experience "All knowledge within." System.

Wishing you all a breath-taking day,

I am Phyllis, Still Becoming

On Being Authentic

Greetings in Gratitude!

Learning to live an authentic life, intentionally, turns out to be a really big deal. And you may have discovered, too, that asserting this intention produces perfect opportunities to hone our skills. Oh, yes, I am grateful, and delighted at how efficient we are, while noting the irony.

A woman I've not worked with previously called for a session this week. She is, herself, a trained psychic, and is very clear about achieving a specific goal in her session. Although I don't know the details, and prefer not to, this conversation raised flags for me. Working with other "psychics" is a treat for me. They are often very open and clear, and we have a great time. So this was not the challenge. But still, I was not at ease about it. This morning I realized she is my opportunity for authentic action.

Whenever we have a challenge explaining who we are, someone will come along to help us clarify our identity. As I usually do, I explained that I do not apply psychic bandaids in projections and predictions; that I am not a traditional psychic but work with folks on the human condition and understanding ourselves better. I said all the things I have learned to say about myself to help folks decide whether I am the person with whom they want to work on their agenda.

And this morning I realized that I was giving her the power to decide, and that I have been doing this for some time with new contacts. This is not authentic. This kind of conversation only confuses a situation with a new person. I have been giving away my power in the belief that the client has the right to decide whether I will work with them. Certainly, the potential client has rights, and that person has exercised those rights by calling me. Then it is my responsibility to attune myself to them while still on the phone and decide whether I choose the exchange. Listening to what the person feels they need, breathing deeply and accepting the appointment, or not, based on my sense of the possibility for an authentic exchange, I choose.

I will call the woman, my teacher it turns out, and cancel the appointment. Perhaps there is something of value I can offer in an email. But an appointment under these circumstances would be uncomfortable for me and most probably not produce what she seeks. She has her own answers, and if I can assist in her accessing that Wisdom then I will be happy to do so. In this instance, an appointment would create an artificial stage that precludes a satisfying outcome.

I am a teacher. I have expanded my consciousness to develop skills everyone has. I love to facilitate an exchange in consciousness in which the client realizes how wise they are and have always been. And I am happy to share information from those in Spirit to support my clients in whatever may serve them best. I am grateful to this woman for expanding my Wisdom in becoming authentic. Identifying myself is not explaining myself. I deserve to work with ease, and today I am more certain of this than I have ever been. Breathing, I am at peace.

Until next time, Breathing with you,

I am Phyllis, Still Becoming

NO RULES

Greetings in Gratitude!

Waking this morning with a "Thank you God for this day!" on my lips, I stretched and continued the dream I was having about a class offered to folks like me who have lived with body issues all of our lives. And even as I "taught" the class, I practiced and knew that I was learning as much or more than I was sharing, and that the core theme for the class was, "NO RULES."

This topic may be the theme of the message to my lovely church in Duluth, so this may be a preview for the service on the 18th. I never know, and have surrendered needing to know before I get there. It can change in a moment. One of my most profound experiences of true surrender has been my messages to the church over the years. I used to think I was in charge of my messages. I used to think there were rules.

It strikes me as ironic, alarming and hilarious that we are born to this planet steeped in rules and then spend the whole of our lives questioning them and deciding which of them we choose to follow and those we debunk or refuse.

Some rules seem to work for us. "Drive on the right side of the road," (at least in the USA)

works to keep us from annihilating one another. "Thou shalt not kill," works except when a government gives us permission to do otherwise. "Do not hit your children," has become a rule we've adopted, though we sometimes question its wisdom. I did not hit the child whose parents ignored his behavior in my home, no matter what he destroyed, but I picked him up by his arm and threatened bodily harm if he continued. My house, my rules. I would handle it differently now, but 46 years ago I was at a different stage of becoming. Rules change? No, we change rules.

Each of us, born of the Creator and endowed with all of Its Wisdom, already knows all things and therefore creates our rules. Ultimately, we realize that we need no rules.

Coming to terms with "no rules," related to my physical system, my weight, my health, is no easy shift. But this is where I am and I am grateful to have entered a stream of my own Wisdom that is filled with acceptance, gratitude, surrender, breath, love. No rules is a gift.

No rules is terrifying. "No rules" is a new neighborhood I am visiting.

This reminds me of a recurring dream I had as a child. I am walking up Spring Lake Road - ironically a road that has been renamed, but only in my neighborhood - and I know my house is close. I recognize the driveway, but all the houses are painted colors different from what I know they should be. I continue, though, and go the door and knock. Just as someone opens the door, I wake up. And I feel so sad, so curious, so childlike.

Was this a prophetic dream, as well as a dream borne of childhood anxieties? Here I am today in a neighborhood that feels like I know it well, but all the rules have changed. In fact, as the door opens to the place I call home - my body - I realize that no rules apply; I do not know yet who is inside nor how I will know myself. With no rules.

But I have signed on for this journey. Out of Wisdom I have created it. And through Wisdom I will breathe and bumping into each old rule, breathe again and ask if it serves me still. I know already that many do not. To be still and know myself without an old rule to guide me, to give me that momentary feeling of security that rules can provide, that is a journey I now embrace.

Each moment is a new adventure, learning to be at ease in a neighborhood familiar but changed. Each day knowing myself better as System, a state of knowing I am self-created.

Until next time, I am breathing into NO RULES,

As Phyllis, Still Becoming

A New Day

Greetings in Gratitude!

Oh, what is so blue as a sky

wreathed in sunset clouds

after the storm.

And, oh, that after any storm we look up and enjoy all that Mother Nature offers us, the sigh, the release, the promise.

Today is such a day for me, waking in tears from a dream that my mother had died, and knowing that she is just fine, and that my System is helping me grieve both the past and what will come one day.

The rain has stopped - momentarily - the painters are due to finish yesterday's work, and the carpet will be shampooed before the day is over. Happily, both the painter and the shampooer are friends of long-standing and are respectful people who cause me to feel taken care of. And don't we all deserve to feel, increasingly, that we have all the help we need and all the care one could ask for - indeed. And I called Mom who will be gone part of the day to ask if I could camp out at her place while the work is done. So I'll be off and away soon.

I've felt the need to have something profound, or at least important to me, to share with you whenever I post to this blog. But recently I've realized that simply beginning the post each day is the key, and what comes up will produce more thought, etc. So more frequent posting is my intention. Breathing, I am more relaxed in all things. Ah, so good.

Today's thought is about asking for more of what we need and desire, to open ourselves to receive, and to share with others the results. The painters noted with relief that the shampoo folks, who just stopped in, were able to so easily come back after painting is done. And I said, "That's what happens when you visualize the ballet, and that's what I've been doing since I got up." If we share, perhaps the folks in our lives will consider the question of deserving and practice the skill of speaking aloud what is personal to each of them. Whoopdeedoo!

Let's celebrate generously a full, balanced life together, in gratitude.

Until next time, breathing with you,

I am Phyllis, still becoming

The Wars Within

Greetings in Gratitude!

First, my gratitude to those of you who have given me such positive feedback on this blog. While on hiatus I was grateful for your support and a reminder that we are all connected, whatever the circumstances. Struck by new thought and energy all of you are on my mind.

For some years I have known that I am sensitive to daily products. I stopped using milk long ago. But the symptoms seemed a small price to pay for enjoying cheese, ice cream, etc. And I have held a belief that whatever the symptom, with intention and attention anything can be released. So I have experimented, indulged and negotiated with my system to continue the use of dairy. Then I broke out with a miserable itchy patch of eczema from neck to collarbone, and the misery of it prompted a discovery process.

I'll interrupt that discovery to relate the process of I use to release any symptom.

Speak first to the symptom, and it could be mental, emotional or physical. Thank the symptom for holding the wisdom you need to improve your life. Thank it for its wisdom and for the service it provides. In this instance I thanked my skin. Give it permission to inform you of that wisdom, breathe and relax into the breath, surrendering any thought or emotion. Give it permission to recall its perfect function. It will, when ready, give you a message, and further surrender will offer you the opportunity to integrate the benefits.

Yesterday I followed this process, and today the symptom is much less itchy and red. This morning, talking with Nancy, I realized several things about our symptoms and stored memory.

All symptoms are stored in layers of our mental, emotional and physical experience. This I have always believed. What I had not realized is the belief I have also held that I had some responsibility to hold it until I fully understood it or resolved/defeated it. And to further add to the impact, this is a family symptom; my sister, granddaughter, niece, nephew and probably others all have some reaction to dairy products. And it seems that when we share a symptom with other family members, we may hold a fatalistic acceptance that the symptoms are inherited, therefore inevitable. Oh, it is karmic, but not inevitable.

This morning I saw myself again as a knight of the Knights Templar, fighting to assert the cause, fighting to protect my principles. Then I saw the young woman, Laurel, who is another of my soul's identities, fighting against the tyranny of my captors in the WWII prison camp.

Each feels self-righteous and beleaguered. Each has courage combined with a sense of doom.

Those memories underly my beliefs of survival. My ancient self affects my present-day self.

I produce symptoms related to more than dairy. Dairy serves as the trigger.

Revealing my symptoms is key to my becoming System.

I have revealed that my system believes it is necessary to go to battle to prove myself worthy; to persist until I understand and prove the worth in the struggle.

It still believes in struggle. Yes, I teach best what I most need to learn.*

And I know now that my war in the emotional system rages in my physical system. And that the war in my system uses energy I could use elsewhere. My calories are used to maintain the struggle. My system fights against dairy, and I suffer a loss of energy.

Vitality wanes as the war between the physical and emotional rages.

I will use my breath to release dairy from my system. Remaining in my moment, and speaking with love to my system, I retrieve my balance and relieve the struggle of those who have served me for centuries. I thank every part of me that has held all of this for my benefit.

Until next time,

I am, Phyllis, still becoming

*Richard Bach in ILLUSIONS