Chapter II of Dec. 30 Post

Good Morning!

This last day of 2010 I woke at 1:30 writing in my head another chapter of yesterday's posting, so here I am at 2:00 a.m. and away we go!

This past year, we have been as travelers of old, circling a new town, camping some and moving around it, curious and contemplating what it would/will be like to enter the gates of that unknown constabulary to make it our own.

It's exciting sometimes to wonder what is there and how we will fit in. And often it has felt odd, as if we will not know ourselves there when finally we go, go in, go to meet whatever will be ours. And that is not comfortable. We have felt a bit off-balance; something so new with so much to offer and yet...

This blog has helped me feel more tethered, more centered. I watched Oprah's interview with J.K. Rawlings yesterday. It was a great interview, and they are alike in many astonishing ways. Rawlings said something I know well. She said, "Often I didn't know it until I wrote it." Her books are truly a trip she took inside herself to that unknown place where she was Becoming.

Writers, I believe, more often than not, learn themselves by writing.

I learn myself by writing what appears to be a message to all of you, and with each idea that appears on my computer screen Consciousness expands; I am more than I was before. I am closer into that as yet undisclosed district that holds so much invention.

Wavering though we may seem to be out on the fringes of that new territory, we can feel not bold, not determined. But we are brave. We have traveled this far to observe what Becomes the place we gather. And while camping and sleeping out on the fringe, we dream ourselves inside this new, intriguing municipality, exploring in sleep what intimidates in our waking hours. We are brave.

The journey takes not so much courage as we might imagine, standing and observing and wondering if we can, indeed, enter this exciting, intimidating realm. We are explorers, after all, and with each foray, whether in sleep or day-trip, we touch it, taste it, then scurry back to the three-dimensional safety of the Known, on the fringe, to rest a bit.

We need not force ourselves out of our comfort zone. Those dreams and day-trips take courage, too, and prove so much. We are bold, we are brave. Already the journey has proven more than we could have imagined. With each foray we trust ourselves more.

The journey has never been about trusting the Unknown, out there.

It's always been about trusting ourselves.

This new gathering place will not abandon us. It will still be there tomorrow. Even as we camp on the fringes, we are absorbing the energy of it, adapting as we observe. It takes courage to stand and learn, to know ourselves better.

Taking a deep breath,

I am Phyllis, still Becoming

Boldly Striding into 2011

Greetings from the End of 2010!

The holidays sure cut into my energy to post here, not to mention all the compressed energy on our dear planet which also required some management. But here we are, and because I am so much in the flow of gratitude these days, I'm going to review a place we've visited before. I've just erased my last sentence in which I said there is no such thing as too much gratitude, but I've seen obsession in all practices, so....

Gratitude becomes a state of mind after we practice it for awhile. It may sound redundant, but I am so grateful that I learned along the way that gratitude is essential to living a whole, balanced life.

I've pretty much, with the exception of a very dark period when my thyroid failed, been a Pollyanna. Glad for this, glad for that, pretty positive and grateful throughout. Sincerely. I don't relate to pretense about gratitude. Say it out loud, feel it in my body, breathe deeply and send it out, absorbing it as it returns. Not that there is time to do that whole process every time I feel and express gratitude, but when I can, that's the cycle.

Curious about why and how, I've asked questions about gratitude. I started asking about the physics of gratitude when the "gratitude journal" trend started. Along the way I've learned that the expression of gratitude activates an exchange with our physical world and expands out to engage The All That Is.

Repeating: Consciousness is one experience. It is one thing, so whatever it is that we put into it, changes it. A note: Let's not obsess about this. What we put in that we wish we hadn't can be changed, and our experience in reversing it has value, too.

Gratitude opens the heart - or that part of our physical being that feels like our heart. When we express gratitude with breath, that part of us opens and the energy expresses outward. As it moves into Consciousness, it communicates to others and expands out to The All That Is.

The physics of this boggles my mathematically-challenged mind, but I know that it is real. I feel it for myself and Wisdom has shown it to me with vivid imagery and energy. As it moves out into the Cosmos, it engages with everyone who is related to the experience you are having and they, in turn, are moved to respond, to enthusiastically agree with you and to cooperate with whatever it is that you need.

Gratitude, then, is a significant element in Creation. So, considering how we project an intention or visualize what we want, incorporating gratitude in that creation activates the Consciousness. For instance, these days we are creating "the perfect assisted living place" for Mom. To activate that creation, I incorporate gratitude: "I am grateful for the perfect assisted living place for Mom." Breathe and surrender it. In other words, it is done. We have created it, we are so grateful and we let it go.

At this reflective time of year, we naturally express gratitude for what was. We can engage with and create what is that we choose for 2011. Out of our Wisdom and in alignment with the greater good, we are pioneers in this expansive Creation. Take a deep breath and dare to create the dream. Let's be bold, striding into 2011 with the confidence of The All That Is. See you there!

Until then,

I am Phyllis, still Becoming

Merry, Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!

The energy of this season is so amazing! On the one (mittened) hand we carry the joy of the birth of Christ, on the other hand, we feel the pressures of the season.

A warm note: some of us get away from it all and enjoy the sun in Alabama, Georgia, Florida, Hawaii, etc., so hello to all of you who choose warmer weather. I don't know how I'd celebrate without all the snow, though, so I've chosen and will just shut up about the 5-foot snowbanks.

I treasure Christmas. I hold all the warm memories close to me and shun the new trend to be politically correct with greetings of, "Happy Holidays!" I celebrate the birth of Christ with much joy and gratitude, yet I am not a traditional Christian.

I go through many of the traditional rituals, though my goal is to embrace only those traditions I can manage with ease. Cards seem not to be my style anymore. I love the ones I receive and try to relax my traditional response. I love the trees and lights in the windows of my neighbors, thank them in my heart, and am grateful that as an apartment dweller my doing less is possible without explanation.

This year it seems I've done all I can do while also attending the shifting energy of the planet. This Solstice rotation has been a challenge and a blessing in service. I'm reflecting longingly on the days not long ago when I was sleeping 8 hours a night. These days I find myself awake at 4:00 a.m., opening my heart to the day with gratitude, honoring what I can do for our planet, while gratefully accepting all the help I can get to take care of life. Thank you, God, for meditation naps!

I am so grateful to have partners who understand the dichotomy. How would we hold our balance without dear friends in body and in Spirit who share the assignment and support us on this astonishing journey. The new planet in this crystal frequency is still learning itself, as you and I are learning ourselves, differently from the way humans have ever done before us.

Oh, what gratitude and wonder. Macy's was busy yesterday, as we were there for Santa and the show. We couldn't have picked a better day; 30 deg. weather, and absolutely NO lines! Santa, we decided, was the real Santa, not a helper. He was perfect, from his real beard to his twinkling eyes. Andrea and I agreed, we loved best of all the gorgeous, animated trees in the Elves show. Shannon would not disclose what she whispered in Santa's ear, secretive and busy enjoying her cotton-candy-flavored ice cream.

Christmas Eve is dinner and gifts at their house, then off to a church service that includes the children. Christmas day is at Mom's. I chose a simple oven meal to simplify our day, and Mom will make her traditional fruit salad, especially to please my cousin, Cheryl, who no longer has many memories - except the holiday fruit salad we all enjoy.

For all of you, I wish warm memories and joy in the celebration of Christ who brings us the message of love. His mystical energy lifts us out of the stress and into the crystal frequency of New Earth. This Christmas, as never before, we celebrate the birth of a new life.

Until our next visit,

I am Phyllis, still Becoming

Secrets and Beliefs

Greetings!

"Secrets kill."

Yesterday, in a process very involved and still moving through layers of integration and understanding, I explored in meditation deep layers of belief; beliefs about a number of things that affect the quality of my life. Then last night I had a dream involving disease passed on from one person to another; disease that when kept secret created an epidemic killing many. The final message was, "Secrets kill."

I've given this some thought this morning and realize the two experiences, beliefs and secrets, are related in our current cycle of human evolution.

We all have secrets; parts of ourselves that remain private because they affect no one else and which are parts of the personality through which we are evolving. Because they are private, we feel the freedom to explore them at our own pace, perhaps revealing them once we feel secure in what we have achieved. And some private parts of us will never be revealed because they are as personal to us as our genetic makeup.

Secrets that kill are secrets we keep because we are ashamed or self-conscious of these thoughts, behaviors or conditions. We believe at some level that if the secret were revealed we would not be loved or accepted; worse, we fear we would be judged, even shunned. Fear is the key word here.

Secrets that are kept because we are afraid will kill us because fear is the opposite of love, and love is necessary to create a balanced environment, whether that is in our external or internal world.

So this post is not about running willy-nilly through our lives purging all of our secrets to achieve balance. No. This is about breathing and feeling into our secrets to ask ourselves how we feel while holding on to them. And I personally find that approaching one secret at a time is manageable, while feeling all of the private thoughts at once feels too defeating. So the key is not to layer one on the other. Layering, in fact, may be an escape mechanism; what feels too big we will avoid at all costs.

Sharing a secret eventually may prove cathartic. Having explored its effect in life and released the fear, we may be inspired to share it as part of the steps we take to be fully free of its toxic

effect. There are no rules. You are Creator of all of your beliefs and rules, so you decide.

We may also find, in exploring what we hold in secret, that it turns out to be a belief about ourselves that would not have meaning or importance to anyone else. In fact, this you may find this is true more often than not. And then we can appreciate how we have poisoned our systems, creating physical symptoms which are the result of a secret we have held in fear.

Wisdom now says, "All secrets held in fear are poison to your bodies - physical, mental and emotional. Symptoms will appear somewhere. This is your journey. Ease or dis-ease. Always your choice."

Wishing you Ease,

I am Phyllis, still Becoming

Exploring Soul

Greetings!

Soul comes up as a subject to explore this morning. And because it is very cold in Minneapolis, and the soul seems a lovely warm place to me, it feels appropriate.

I have never explored the beliefs of other cultures regarding soul, and my influence is primarily Christian, so I will use those to reflect on what I have learned since opening to Wisdom.

We were taught that the soul is within us; that each of us has a soul of our own and that it holds all the parts of us that we are working to correct. We also learned that the soul belongs to God.

Our soul is the part of us that knows God and when we die it goes back to God. This has confused me. How can the soul hold both our problem and our perfection? Now, even Christian teachings differ on some of these details, and that confused me even more.

Wisdom has taught me a very different way of thinking about Soul. "Imagine, they said, "that in the beginning a limited number of souls were created. And for the sake of discussion, imagine that only 144,000 souls were created. Just that many and no more for all of eternity."

That set me back on my heals. With all the human beings who have occupied the planet since the beginning of time, that would have to mean that we would have to share souls. What other explanation could there be? So I asked for further information.

Each person is unique in the Cosmos. Each has themes or assignments to fulfill in his or her journey on the planet. And each is a facet or spark of a larger soul. So there are soul families or groups and each person is related by their soul to one another. Our human family, related by blood, is a way to think about a similar relationship.

Souls are magnificent creations, each carrying common assignments or themes. The goal is that each soul complete itself by fulfilling its assignments for the whole. Once all assignments are achieved; once all souls are filled with all the human experience necessary to complete those themes, then all souls will return to the core of Cosmic Consciousness.

As we take this journey on Earth, the Soul serves as our personal Resource Center. From Soul we are sustained and inspired to achieve our life assignments. I like to use a quart crystal cluster as an example. You are the crystal extension, growing from the base cluster (Soul).

The base cluster is drawing energy from Earth. In this illustration, Earth represents Creator.

As we grow and change, mature and achieve our goals, our facets multiply; we continue to draw on Soul, and Soul draws on Creator. We are always supported and supplied. The connection cannot be broken.

Your personal share of Soul is the energy that connects you to all others of your Soul Group and insures that the Cosmic Conversation continues. You meet others of your group and feel a connection. It can be powerful. These connections help us to exercise the human dynamic. Relationships insure that we complete our assignments, and those we share with others of our Soul Group are particularly compelling.

Soul, then, is as Christians teach, both our challenges and our solutions. But absent of the concept of sin, we choose and learn and Become with Soul as the incomprehensible backup System. The absence of external judgement lifts us up and places us squarely and simply in choice. We are choosing and expanding Mind. Becoming does not just mean for or of myself. Becoming means fulfilling a greater Consciousness as well as realizing my personal adventure.

Until next time,

I am Phyllis still Becoming

Across the Globe, Peace

Greetings!

Having previously related an incident in my building that triggered old vulnerabilities, I thought that a follow-up would be natural. Also, relating this experience, I further integrate what passed between me and my neighbors yesterday. Intention, then action, are good, but integration completes the cycle.

Breathing into "right timing," I was inspired to knock on their door about 4 p.m. and found that the young man, a high school senior, was home to interpret, and his mother and father were there relaxing. They enthusiastically invited me into their home, served me a delicious fruit drink, and told me how happy they were that I had come to visit.

They speak Arabic and have been in America from their homeland, Iraq, only since June. Each of them speaks some of our language, but the son is most fluent. He informed me that he had been excused from an after-school practice, so he was home 2 hours early and his mother had been in hospital for a minor procedure two days earlier. The synchronicity delighted all of us.

They are very happy in our neighborhood and told me that the neighbors are friendly and very helpful. I, in turn, told them that when I went to Holy Land Market, the owner, an Arab, helped me to choose the right gift for an Iraqi family. We all agreed that the world is becoming a more integrated community and we are happy to see it evolving.

Baghdad, they tell me, is a multi-cultural community. Though Muslim, they celebrate Christmas and believe all paths lead to one God. Tears come once again as I feel how touched I am by these warm, like-minded neighbors. And I could have missed this.

I could have let the incident of two months ago become a wall between us. In the card I gave them, I reflected on the song, "Let There Be Peace on Earth." What I did not know until yesterday was that I did not take the first step toward peace. Some time recently they attempted to deliver a traditional Iraqi dinner to me, but I was not home. The woman would like us to meet occasionally to practice her English. I will be learning some Arabic. Who could have guessed!

Our step is just one of the many steps being taken across the planet; steps necessary to achieve peace. What governments may try to do, people, one on one, achieve. We all agreed that the more we know one another, the less we fear. The less we fear, the more we realize we are alike.

Wishing you all Peace, Now,

I am Phyllis, still Becoming

Choices with Ease

Greetings!

Being human is all about choices, isn't it? This or that, up or down, fly or drive, shop or stay home, Best Buy or Walmart. And making choices is exercising free will. The catch is, we only want to make the right choice. Now, System will tell us that any choice is the right choice. We can't miss. From each choice we learn, and learning is what being human is all about.

Today I am exploring how to choose with increasing accuracy; choosing to achieve an outcome we prefer. Choice then becomes an exciting exercise in living with ease.

Surprise, surprise, breath is the key to choosing with greater assurance. We can and do improve the quality of our lives when we can relax into choosing. We don't need to hear voices in response to questions about what to do, how to choose, although this can and does also happen when we pose a question and breathe.

Again, for clarity, breathing is the natural means to release our mental and emotional activity.

Choices are not made accurately from logic or emotion. It is certainly possible to choose while also using logical process, but our accuracy is hugely enhanced by relaxing logic and emotion with breath. Logical process increases tension in the body because it is from our density. Physical, mental and emotional conditions are borne of Earth. Wisdom/Mind is borne of Spirit.

Breath releases us to our Wisdom, releasing the denser parts. And from Wisdom all is Known. Trusting this creates an environment through which a choice serves us better.

Example: Yesterday I went out on errands and needed ink cartridges for my printer. Office Max does not carry Kodak inks, but I was told I could get them at Best Buy. I set out and made two other stops, then breathed and realized I was thinking about Walmart. Walmart is not my shopping preference, but it is closer to me. Then I thought about the ink again and breathed - again. With Best Buy and Walmart in front of me as options, I breathed again. When I thought about Walmart my body relaxed. Letting go of logic, I drove to Walmart. Not only did they have my ink, I was able to buy three other items that had been on my list for a while. I did not think about what I needed, just breathed, wandering through the store, finding each item with ease. How lovely.

This example is just one that illustrates we need no special skills to live with greater ease.

We all breathe. We can all tell when our system is tensed or relaxed. Like any other skill, we get better the more we practice. How important is the quality of our lives? Where do we choose to use our energy?

Exercising free will is the way we learn, and it turns out that how we learn to use our free will teaches us even more.

Wishing you ease, now and always,

I am Phyllis, still Becoming

Cosmic Change

Greetings!

The photo today of the solar filament on NASA's site - I go to "space weather" on my search engine - is simply spectacular and well worth your time to visit. The image is remarkably like an angel and promises to last for a while yet before collapsing. Since I don't believe in coincidence, and NASA is not in the business of creating spiritual images, I am touched by this. What a privilege to have such easy access to photos of our Cosmos and its changing face.

Nancy O. tuned me into the site and today's image. For the past several months we have been remarking also on the shift in the sun's rising location and of the change in the light. As long as I have lived here, it has never before risen so far on either side of the east. We know our axis has shifted, as reported by our scientists, but when we see the difference in the light we can take so much for granted, the impression is deep. It changes us within.

We are so aware that the journey we take is new. We feel differently; we encounter life in such an altered state. What we are able to see is changed. Other dimensions are more visible, and our vision is altered by internal evolution.

In fact, we do not have sufficient language to speak with authority about what we have created and what seems to have been created around us without our permission. The change is similar to a new fruit showing up on a plate in front of us. Would we even know it was a fruit? Aren't we more comfortable eating something when we can name it and define its purpose for our system?

Breath is the way to adjust to this change. Breath allows our Inner Wisdom to inform us, to identify the new, and it helps us to relax into accepting the new reality in each evolving stage. While we have explored this previously on these pages, I believe it helps us to breathe more easily and to adapt with greater ease when we talk about it.

We explore and Become. And while changes certainly are occurring outside of us, the most wondrous discoveries of all lie in the terrain within.

Until next time,

I am Phyllis, still Becoming

Whose Script is this Anyway?

Greetings!

Another lovely client prompts this posting on a cold and snowy December morning. I am so grateful for a warm home; for family and friends in this dimension and in Spirit whose warmth is like a glowing fireplace. And how grateful I am for the people who expand the Consciousness by their curiosity and willingness to take what is often the more difficult path.

Our traditional path is one more often focused on the external journey. We are prone to reacting to the behaviors and conditions of people around us. We do not intend to judge, but we are trained to see in others what might be changed and react as if we know what might work better for them, all in the name of caring for them and wishing them the best of life. I cannot count all the ways this behavior has occupied my thoughts and controlled my life. Whew!

The means to achieving a life of balance, of peace, is to instead focus on the interior journey. As we are able to shift attention, redirecting our attention from reaction to breath, we can do this!

The centerpiece of my external journey is my life with Dick McCoy. Sixteen years of judging, reacting, "fixing," and wishing it were all different still causes me to shudder. It is true that this man was not an easy assignment; not for me, not for him. In the name of "helping him," I tried a lot of things. And at the same time did try to take care of myself. But he was the reason, I was sure, that I was so unhappy. He was the source of pain in our family. His behaviors surely stood out as evidence. It is true that we suffered from his anger. It is true that the tension in our home was palpable. And it is true that my reaction to him left no room for change.

We were frozen in a dynamic that controlled us and left little room for joy.

I filed for divorce in 1978. Lo and behold, divorced, single, I was still the same unhappy person. I had not changed. I had only changed the circumstances. But from that place we each began a journey toward knowing ourselves better. Without him, I had nothing to push against. And once I replaced the resistance with internal reflection, I had to face myself. This came slowly, but it did come. It's quite a challenge to face the fact that our part in the script is equal to the part of one whose behaviors are more obvious.

Most of us can look at our lives and ask who out there in our world plays this role for us. They give us something to push against - or to embrace - with the belief that if we just stick long enough, try hard enough, they will change. Perhaps the latter is the more engaging and dangerous, because we live in the illusion of an altruistic pursuit.

Every one of us is fulfilling a self-directed assignment. And every one of the people in our lives is cooperating in providing us what we need to achieve it. Those like my former husband - now deceased - provide the most obvious roles to trigger what we are here to learn. My "home" work was powerful. He couldn't have played his role more effectively for what I had assigned myself to learn. I did not trust myself, so how in the world could I expect that he would provide me a partner I could trust?

Some people, friends, siblings, parents, co-workers, neighbors, politicians, priests and pilgrims may present opportunities for us to know ourselves better with roles not so obvious. Their behaviors may be more subtle. The script they are reading may be very loving or filled with authority, yet triggering us in certain behaviors that are unique to them. But they are persistent. And they are cooperating with us at levels that may surprise us. They must hold their place in our script until we wake one day and say, "Wow, this is my script. What I have written no longer serves me best?

It is not about them; this is all from me and about me?! And I can rewrite it!"

We can rewrite the script by shifting our attention from that other person or situation with BREATH. One breath, or 10 when necessary, shifts attention from the external stimulation to the Sacred within. Oh, their script will be compelling. We may struggle. After all, their behavior has engaged us; if they will just read their lines differently all will be solved and they will be surely be happier. (And, oh by the way, I will feel better.)

The Sacred within is the place where, when we breathe long enough, our Spirit reveals to us the means to live in a new reference point. It informs us, with an epiphany, or over time, what we can do to live the more peaceful life. It reveals the theme, the essence of the assignment, as we are able to relax and allow it. In those moments of clarity we reclaim ourselves. And we know love.

We are such curious and extraordinary beings! How creative we are. How persistent in our scripts. We pursue our assignments, no matter how challenging. Because there is not judgment from those in Spirit who love us, they are not impatient with us. They support us in our struggles and in our victories. We are learning ourselves as best we can and we are expanding Consciousness with every adventure in the human condition. We are very brave. And we are loved.

Until the next page in this script,

I am Phyllis, still Becoming

Benefits of Virtual Realities

Greetings!

Hello, December, and hello to all of you with whom I share this amazing journey.

A lovely client last night prompts more thought about our realities, so thought sharing it with you I might realize even more wisdom from it.

Her Group likened all the scenarios in our lives to virtual reality games we choose to play or to simply observe. In her situation, and in our lives as well, we live a good deal of our lives reacting to the expectations and influences of other people. Or perhaps it is a situation that does not involve us, except that we observe it and it trigger something within us. Do I want to involve myself in the realities of others, or do I choose to stand apart, observing and allowing all of that virtual reality play itself out without me.

That doesn't mean we are not involved. Observing, we are involved to some degree. And if I react, it is because somewhere within my Plan, I recognize a situation not yet personally resolved. It is mine, somehow, somewhere. Consciousness being what it is, we cannot be separate. The question is, how much of my energy will I invest in the scenario. The more I react, the more it controls me; the more it controls me, the more I react.

An aging person I know who feels an increasing loss of control in her own life, reacts strongly to a friend whose situation seems out of balance and detrimental to her well being. While completely understandable in our 3-D world, the reaction dims her own joy. Conversation about every person's Perfect Plan doesn't "fix" the situation for my friend. That's OK, it's not mine to fix, but I feel it's OK to contribute where I can, breathe and let it go. Sometimes it is clear that I need simply to breathe, observe the person or situation in the Sacred and release it.

Learning is in the observing. Where do I react most? What does that say about me and how does it apply to my own experience? Judgement aside, observing teaches so much. We are human so we are going to react. Breath takes us from reaction to observing; perhaps releasing it from our own 3-D reality, placing it instead on a virtual reality screen simply to observe.

Until next time,

I am Phyllis, still Becoming