Dogs and Altruism

Greetings!

This from Nancy O. tickled me: What does a dyslexic agnostic do when he can't sleep? He lies awake wondering if there is a dog.

After a few days dog-sitting while my son and family were away for Thanksgiving, I love this joke all the more. Their dogs are Bel, Ursa and Luna, all females and all large, loving dogs, each with a distinct personality, and all characters. As I observed them, I was amazed at the tactics they use to get what they want and was struck again by their undisguised greediness.

Domesticated animals are here to serve us. And the unconditional love they offer us is priceless. Their attention, though, is a conundrum. Do they really offer us attention without expectation, or is all their attention based on what they need from us? As human beings, how often do we really offer ourselves or our gifts without expectation or association of some kind?

In this season of gratitude and giving/receiving I ponder again the human condition and how much of what we offer is unconditional. People who give anonymously are rare. An amazing couple at the church we attend is matching charitable gifts, up to $5000 each, and encouraging gifts of at least $100. They announced this a church, and were duly applauded for this generous offer. I am as impressed as anyone, and I do not question their altruism.

At the same time I am reminded of a movie, Magnificent Obsession, that so inspired me years ago. In it, a doctor dies and his wife is visited by a deluge of people who want to tell her how much they owe her husband. He would give them gifts of money and tell them there were two conditions: they could tell no one and they could never repay the money. If they tried, he would tell them he couldn't take it; it was "all used up," and encouraged them to "give to some other poor devil." He payed out the energy and believed in doing so that it was used up in the giving. And it had to be anonymous. This is true altruism. Pay it Forward also explored this principle.

When we give at the U. U. church, because they believe in a budget based on knowing what funds will be available, we are asked to pledge. I understand the dynamics, but I was taken aback when I received a pledge review by mail. Thinking how I could do this differently, I realized I could continue to give anonymously or I could comply with pledging and help the church budget its monies. As long as I choose to attend this church with Mom, I owe them accountability because it is their way. But you can see that I'm not comfortable with it.

By contrast, my home church in Duluth does not ask a pledge. We pay an annual membership fee, the amount determined by our conscience, and an offering is taken each Sunday. What a marvel to me that they are fiscally stable and have managed all of this largely with anonymous contributions and a volunteer board.

The beliefs of a person or a church become their reality. Beliefs manifest in the physical world.

We are alchemists. We create our circumstances. If we believe people must be accountable, and if we operate with a need to be acknowledged, then true altruism is not at work. I believe this is a belief that limits creation.

I realize that I am supporting a core metaphysical principle which is not comfortable for all of us yet. And I believe that when we are able to release accountability, we will have evolved to a place in our creation when we will be tapping the All That Is without restriction. The Flow will be well beyond what we now enjoy. And we are evolving. I believe that each time we make an anonymous contribution, whether that is with money or some other gesture, we expand Consciousness toward our goal of unfettered Flow.

And think how nice and empty the mailbox will be!

Breathing with you,

I am Phyllis, still Becoming

Designing the New Self

Greetings and a Happy Thanksgiving to All!

A generous and inspiring friend allows me to share her epiphany with all of you as a centerpiece for this posting.

Changing self is the only change. Whatever in life that does not please us, if we want to change it, the change will come through self or not at all. And don't we run the gambit of alternatives in search of the happiness we know we deserve, but which seems just out of reach?

Often System has told us that we do not begin change at the point of realization. We have begun the change, and then the realization comes as part of the process. This is true of my friend. The epiphany is a punctuation mark to tell us how far we have come, and that having bravely taken the journey, we are able to reveal the Wisdom of it.

We are always in a state of change. As System told me many years ago: Your questions mean you are not stuck. People who are stuck don't know there is a question. I love this bit of Wisdom. It has comforted me often. If I am anything, I am curious. The hunger to know, or to at least think I know, is a constant in my life.

Change begins with me. The musical piece, "Let There Be Peace on Earth," says it so well. "Let peace begin with me. Let this be the moment now." The change toward peace must begin within me, just as any change in our world must begin here. And how am I to affect peace except by feeling it within and expressing it in the greater Consciousness.

A couple of weeks ago I reported an incident of violent behavior in my building that triggered old vulnerabilities. While I can say that I have resolved my inner drama, I have not gone the next step to contact my neighbor. Language barriers seemed a good reason not to reach out. I've investigated the Islamic calendar and see that December 7 is their New Year celebration. On that day I will make a gesture of peace and hope this will bring me back into harmony with my next-door neighbors. Waiting for a gesture from the source of the drama may seem logical, but if peace is to be, it must begin with me. My personal peace is more important than how I might be perceived by them. And so the remedy is a gesture; one with no expectations.

I've marveled in the past at stories of people who reach out to establish a relationship with an individual who has committed a crime against them; a mother who reaches out to the drunk driver who killed her daughter; the man who finds within forgiveness for the the woman who wrongly accused him of rape and cost him several years of his life in prison. Courage and a desire to change self must motivate them. It has the healing effect on the other person, but the inspiration comes from a desire to achieve change within self. They all tell the same story.

Today is a new and sunny day. Change is going on within and I see it all around me. Shifting to accommodate change is a daily journey. We can breathe and flow with it, or focus on it and freeze it in time, struggling and wishing it were not so. The evidence of our choice is so powerful.

In gratitude for all the people in my life, changing and courageously persisting, I celebrate this holiday and hope for all of you great ease and joy.

Until next time,

I am Phyllis, still Becoming

Support System, Part II

Greetings!

Aunt Phyl is on my mind this morning, so I am reminiscing and meandering. She was/is a character; my mother's aunt, therefore my great-aunt. Everyone should be blessed to have such a character in their lives. She was a small woman, with a snap in her eyes and a sharp wit. Mother and I decided she must have been an "It Girl" in her time. She did have "it," attracting the attention of men even in her later years. A self-professed flapper in her day, she loved riding behind handsome gentlemen on their motorcycles.

Aunt Phyl began life as Philemon, a French name she hated. So when she could, she changed it to Phyllis. When I came along Mother named me for her, and I am grateful. Raised Catholic, she bent and broke rules the Pope probably never thought to write down. She was married twice and had a child with each man. I knew her daughters, and they were as different as night and day.

Her life was not easy. She and her sisters, one of whom is our maternal grandmother, were farmed out to relatives when they were quite young; when their father married a French woman who did not like them. Aunt Phyl learned to appreciate life and she had a selfish streak that gave me a lot to think about as I grew to know her. Her sharp tongue let you know where she stood and what she wanted.

We celebrated our January birthdays together a few times, and on her 90th we celebrated at Mom's, with their cousin, Richard. She reflected on her age as we were leaving and said, "I don't mind so much getting older, except my dingly-danglies fall to my knees!"

When she passed, just short of her 93rd birthday, I realized I would miss her more than most. That spark was special. And when I woke this morning, feeling her energy all around me, I needed to take this time to honor her as she is, here and now, always.

Our Support Systems are more than we know. They consist of family and friends with whom we share our lives, both their 3-Dimensional and their Extra-Dimensional selves; the people who have left their human suit behind but continue relationship with us; the folks we've never met who are other aspects of us; the Masters and Angels who attend us. Our Support Systems exceed any linear understanding. Considering this expansive Consciousness, spiraling out and out, inward and ever inward, it's a travesty that we do not consciously and intentionally utilize it every moment of every day.

Our entourage is impressive. Thank you, each of you, for connecting with me, as I am grateful to connect with you. Thank you, Aunt Phyl, and each facet of my Support System for your service. I am more committed than ever to remembering how generously you offer your support, for those things that feel important and for items that feel insignificant; remembering what God told me: "Phyllis, whether it is world peace or a hangnail, if it feels important to you, then it is important to us."

Breathing into the Possible,

I am Phyllis, still Becoming

Curtain-Turning and Support Systems

Greetings to You and Winter!

Support Systems are on my mind this week, especially since a major curtain-turning incident over the weekend.

And now with new perspective from my sister's life, I'm really inspired to share it with you. An unexpected and perfect experience filled Judith's life yesterday. A friend from her study group was in physical crisis, and Judith became his support system, driving him to the hospital and calling his family to notify them of his situation. She was so grateful to realize the presence of his wife who passed several years ago, guiding Judith, comforting her husband and obviously providing the Support System they both needed.

What amazing design kaleidoscopically turns and falls into place to create such an opportunity for serving and being served? It's a curious and spectacular plan, isn't it? Judith was willing to serve; she was also open and willing to accept the help that was available. Balance.

Where do we serve and where are we served? What service of yours is so precious as this? I hope you appreciate what you offer others, whether it seems significant to you at the time.

God says, "You are here to learn yourself, and hopefully to learn to love yourself along the way." How are we to learn to love ourselves unless we can appreciate the value of our service?

Considering this, I breathe deeply to feel the exchange I've had with a person or in a situation where I am grateful to have served. I'm getting better at it, yet we all need more practice.

I've probably shared with you my curtain-turning experience, but if you haven't read the earlier blog entry, I'll share it again: About two years ago I noticed the pretty edge of the heavy, cotton lace panel in my bedroom turned. It was clearly not the way I had hung it. I turned it back - only to find it generously turned again soon afterward. I usually find the turning in the morning, but just to make sure I'd believe it, once it was turned so far outward while I was in the shower that I couldn't argue anymore. When I get the message I sometimes have found it returned to its natural position. Those in Spirit who love me use it to make a statement.

My first reaction was, what am I doing wrong, or what am I not doing. Over time I've realized that the message if simply and clearly a statement of support. When I am most in need, the curtain is turned. On Friday it was turned again, and the message was so clear: "We are your Support System." Strong encouragement to lean into that System comforts me and reminds me that I need more practice asking for help to support everything I do.

We all have Support Systems. And the support we offer others is not to be handled alone. The challenge and the blessing is to breathe deeply into the All That Is, ask for help, then open fully to receive the awesome support always there to partner with us - in whatever we do.

Until next time,

I am Phyllis, still Becoming

Sacrifice and Indulgence

Greetings!

Simplicity and indulgence seem to be my themes this morning. Contemplating Christmas this year means catalogues and shopping ahead. The hustle and bustle of shopping the week before the big day used to give me a holiday feeling. No more. Selections from the ease of my sofa appeal to me this year, and I suspect for all those years to come.

Catalogues are finding me this year as never before. I am delighted that the Vermont Country Store offers candies from my childhood. Crystal Creams were always my favorite. In the catalogue they are called French Creams; colorful creamy candies coated with crystallized sugar. And I'll order Mom's favorite, Cream Filberts. The prices are outrageous, but since they are the only candies I'll buy for Christmas - and they evoke such strong childhood memories - they are worth it.

We all have memories and hungers it may not be possible to satisfy so simply as this. We may, in fact, accumulate more hungers and their guilty associations than we resolve. We are culturally influenced to deny those hungers as if they are insignificant, or worse, selfish indulgences.

Denying our hungers and pressing ourselves for service to the point of sacrifice leave us with deep hungers. These yearnings are certainly deeper than any candy or other indulgence can satisfy. Compensating behaviors can become addictions, and as I was reminded in a session with a recovering alcoholic, shame very often follows.

When caught up in all the confusing feelings of addiction, it's not surprising that we fall into self-deprecation and shame. My sister once said, "The shame feels wrong." She is so right.

Judgement further represses the roots of the addictive behavior, prolonging the agony.

Guilt and shame will not bring us to the outcome we prefer.

Wisdom says that our behaviors are not to be judged. Our tendency is to judge ourselves or others, but those in Spirit who love us see these behaviors as the way we learn ourselves. Period. And learning ourselves is the reason we are walking around here in this human suit.

This is not intended to encourage our addictive behaviors, but to observe them as objectively as possible. How does this feel? What does it feel like afterward? What do I get out of this, or what price to I pay for this indulgence? Breathing is the key to accessing those feelings and to achieving the objectivity we need to move further away from the behavior.

So I will indulge myself in the healthiest ways I can and embrace the many ways to bring ease into my life. We deserve the ease. We've lived the cycle of self-sacrifice and we've learned as much about that condition as we need to. We are people of service and that will not cease. We now learn to live in service without sacrifice. The residual effects of sacrifice are still with us, and now we explore the means to climb out of that trench and into the light of Third Earth.

Breathing with you,

I am Phyllis, still Becoming

Rhythms

Greetings!

I do have gratitude, but felt I'd overworked the greeting ~:-)

In past posts I've sure worn you out with reminders to breathe and release; to rest within self.

I had another reminder this morning of the reasons we do well to breathe therapeutically and find that Sacred Space within.

I was reaching out to answer the phone soon after I got up - and realized the phone hadn't rung yet, simultaneously realizing it was about to. And sure enough it did, and it was Mom. Nothing at all serious, by the way. After the call I found myself singing, "Rhythm, I have rhythm," to the tune of, "Heaven, I'm in heaven, and my heart..."

Rhythm is the reason to breathe and release. Our hearts work in rhythm, our breath is in rhythm - even shallow breathing - and our electrical impulses and pulses are rhythmic. The point is, our System knows rhythm and feels so much better, operates with harmony and ease, when we intentionally breathe deeply and regularly.

The longer we practice this rhythm, the more rhythmic is the life we lead; phone calls, spontaneous activity of all kinds. Rhythm within, rhythm without. We respond to inner signals to lead a more rhythmic life, and this applies to everything. Living a life of increasing ease is something we all desire and a goal we can all achieve and enjoy. I'm practicing with you.

Until next time,

I am Phyllis, still Becoming

Help! Yes, There is Help

Greetings in Gratitude!

Just how far do we take an issue/a situation before we surrender it? When do we, or when are we willing finally to turn it over? Whose belief system isn't drenched with haunting voices that tell us we must do our very best to chase down the resolution, to reason it out, and to do the very best we can to understand it so that we can explain it others or convince them we know the best way to reach a happy ending? Whew! We sure have a lot of conditioning to outgrow.

And so often, when we are involved in a complex situation, we are also have a tendency to shift perspective, looking through the eyes of others who are involved. As we have discussed previously, this is dangerous territory. Any time we split our perspective, our anxiety mounts because we are giving away our power. Our attention is split, and our System, knowing this way of operating serves no one, fills us with symptoms/anxiety to notify us to change our approach.

The only approach to any old or new issue is to breathe and release - just as soon as we possibly can. We're so wonderful. We are courageous and determined and faithful. We do so much better than we think we can, and we deserve relief. Relief comes from breathing and breathing again, asking for help and surrendering until we feel all the mechanisms fall away. We have so much help available.

Yesterday a client asked about how to improve the ability to channel. There is no need for us to be intimidated by the word, "channeling." We all do it all the time, but it is so much a part of us that we don't realize what it is - until we begin studying Consciousness. If we have a desire to expand our Consciousness, there are certain things we can do to improve our reception.

1. Drinking water is essential. We are electrical beings who operate best when fully hydrated.

2. Breathing helps us sustain an image or message until it is fully expressed. We do have a tendency to get mentally busy, interpreting what we are seeing or "hearing." Breathing helps us to collapse the mental and sustains the message.

3. Speaking aloud to our support group/angels & guides, helps to evaporate our ideas of separation from all of those who would support and communicate with us. And they do always support us, but when we imagine separation (and those beliefs can be strong) we create separation.

4. Reconsider the idea of what "hearing" means. On occasion, we hear physical voices from our guides. More often, we receive through a stream of Consciousness that runs parallel with our own. Using the technique of breathing therapeutically allows messages to enter our awareness.

Still Becoming in this area, especially when receiving my own counsel, I deeply appreciate the discovery process and treasure the results.

Until next time,

I am Phyllis, still Becoming

If It's Hard, It Isn't Meant to Be

Greetings in Gratitude!

Today I nearly forgot my own rule: "If it's meant to be, it will flow."

And over the weekend, preparing a meal for my family, I did forget it, so here in the light of a lovely November 1st, I am reaffirmed. If it's hard, if it doesn't flow, STOP. It isn't meant to be, at least in the way I'm doing it. And what an opportunity to streamline life.

The meal was from the heart. The dish kept challenging me; the ingredients, the preparation.

But I kept on, and the result was digestible, but it wasn't the dish I first envisioned. I had changed it in favor of "doing something new." And no one complained, but I wasn't satisfied. When I went to bed last night, I asked what it was about. So.....

This morning I got up and checked my land line and had no service. Now, to tell you the story of the cable company and the phone company (that also provides my wireless service) would only give you a headache and further congest the issue. Any of you who have gone to the ropes with either of these technical octopuses already understands.

Yes, the more I explained and requested, the further into the abyss I went. First the phone folks, then the cable people, and back again, until, on the advice of one supervisor, I had the phone in my hand to explain and request again and it hit me: If it's meant to be, it will flow. I choose to have no landline, and I have dismantled my phones. If ever you called me on the 781 number, please erase it. I have my cell phone and it will do the job. I feel so much lighter.

Are you old enough to remember the 70's projections that were made for the technology of the future? It would simplify our lives. We would have so much time to relax. The truth is, humans have always found ways to complicate life as if the struggle justified our lives. My next step is to simplify my cable TV life. But not today.

Until next time,

I am Phyllis, still Becoming