Live Amazed!

Good Wednesday Morning!


Borrowing from Joyce Meyer this morning, I am reminded to "Live Amazed!"  There are so many things in this world that I do not have to do today, conditions that are not mine today, assignments I do not feel compelled to complete.  Good.  Wow.  Thank you, God.  And so I am amazed at my life.  I am grateful for the fullness of it.  I am breathing into the amazing facets of my life that sometimes I can accept as normal, forgetting what a miracle God and I have created.  My life.   What you and God have created.  Your life.


And borrowing from a client session yesterday, I heard myself saying, "We cannot project anything without disappointing ourselves." Not because what we project will not be true.  On the contrary,  it's because what we project we may in fact create, and it may be short of the dream, the Mystery, the Miracle.


Personally, I do not want to create anything less than the most awesome thing possible.  My goodness, what motivation!  My practice, as I said in my last post, is to breathe into this moment as the sacred All That Is, the I Am, in which every amazing thing in my Creation already exists.  Breathing into my immediate Creation, I am informed by it.  And so one moment, one breath,  flows into the next. 


Yesterday I also felt the gravity of living in harmony with our inner child.  Now, sometimes the child within wants to have a tantrum.  Old pain comes up and will not be ignored.  The child wants to say, holler, spit, stomp feet about what she/he was never allowed to express.  One of my favorite places to scream is in my car. No one hears me, and if anyone notices as I am sailing down the freeway, so what?


Sometimes, often in fact, the child wants to express joy, pure unadulterated freedom from any restrictions or self-consciousness.
When I wrote last week about going to the flower show downtown, I didn't tell you that when I get on the city bus to go downtown, the 12-year-old in me is excited and a little nervous.  I am on my own. I have no one to answer to, no schedule, no rules.  When my mother first let me go downtown to the dentist alone and I first got on that bus all by myself, I was very nervous.  But also thrilled.


Now, at 70, I can still feel it.  Dayton's was a delicious place to dream; the place where I bought my first lipstick at 15.  Fanny Farmer Candy stores that no longer exist were the place where I would carefully choose an oh-so-delicious piece of candy to eat while waiting for the bus to go home.  (Insert irony here: I'd have just been to the dentist)  Today I choose to savor a steaming cup of Americano purchased at a coffee shop on Macy's lower level.


Indulging myself, my inner child, is important.  We live crowded lives.  So many assignments wait for our attention.  Breathing, I am better in touch with the child in me.  She waits for my attention and is not shy about telling me what she wants - when I will listen. 


Sometimes symptoms in my life tell me that she must be heard.  I must cry hard, creating a space for big emotions.  Or I must give myself permission to break out of patterns by playing.  Sometimes that is best done in the company of my grandchildren, but many times it is best done alone - on a swing in the park, on the city bus, alone at a theater, in my car going nowhere looking up at the moon.


I have love and breath.  That's it.  In this time, reflecting on life as I know it, those two contain all things.


Amazed,
I am Phyl-El