Have you ever asked yourself, "What is my greatest fear?"
I don't spend much time in fear these days as I have in the past, and I am grateful.
And when I have a fear, I am usually able to breathe and surrender what might otherwise dampen my own joy and the peace of any other person.
But in my meditation this a.m. the question came up for review, and as I come to my own answer, I wonder about yours as well. While rattling my old bones, I am reviewing so much, and I am supposing that many of you are asking yourselves these core questions as well.
First, I realized that as I have come to respect the perfection in the Perfect Plan for everyone,
I have fewer fears related to my family and friends. And when I do bump into that thing in the night, I am usually able to transmute the energy of that fear by breathing and holding that person or event in that Sacred Space that serves us all. And I think about all the sleep lost and energy expended in years past and I am so grateful for the transition to this place that I am.
And that leads me to tell you that, of all that exists, my greatest fear would be to cease growing; to cease becoming all that I can be while still in this human suit.
I've been reading my son's blogs, both his personal and his publishing house blog, and he reveals himself so naturally in both places. He perseveres. He stretches himself and is in a state of self-discovery that is inspiring to me. If he weren't my son, I would admire his search to become all that he can be. I wonder at the effect this has on his two children, my sweet and lovely granddaughters.
In rattling my old bones, I have been questioning whether what I do in this world is enough, and whether what I do in this world is needed. You can imagine that these are bone-rattling questions for me. And I know that for some of you the question these days is, what IS the thing that I now choose to do with my life.
As I've reviewed the way that I work with clients I have clarified and declared that I choose to release anyone who would come to our exchange abdicating their power. In years past, still drenched in karmic patterns, the way we worked together came from that energy. Folks would come hoping for release from their fears by accessing some external source that would give them answers for their lives. I now call these, "psychic bandaids."
They always fall off. These days I send out messages in the consciousness we share to communicate that this is not my process any longer. Psychic bandaids do not serve us these days. They once provided the comfort and reassurance of safety in a very uncertain period of transition. These days they only prolong our process and frustrate our state of becoming.
Those thoughts led me to consider whether what I do as an intuitive is something I choose to continue to do. And in those thoughts came two fears, and I "bare my soul" to share them with you.
1: How do I provide for myself if I discontinue sessions with clients?
2: And the bigger question is, do I slow or cease becoming without benefit of the expanded consciousness that is achieved in sessions with clients? I realize that in nearly 27 years of channeling, I have come to depend on my clients to provide this stimulus.
Oh, rattling the bones is chilling territory - but productive.
The first question is answered in this principle: I am Original Supply/Source and therefore provide for myself out of the All that Is. I believe this, and I am learning to know this.
The second answer came this morning as I was speaking to friend Nancy: The stimulus that expands my consciousness does not require formal client interaction. I am in a state of expanding consciousness while posting to this blog, while speaking on the phone with people I love, through other writing I may once again be inspired to pursue. It comes as I respond to comments to this blog and to emails sent by clients who simply want to connect. And it comes through meditation, whether lying on my sofa or speaking aloud to my Friends in Spirit while showering or driving my car. Stuff happens.
I love my clients, each of them in a unique and inspiring state of becoming. I am grateful to each of them, and as further design my life, I will keep them informed.
I am in a state of becoming by being - and being with intention.
I think I've rattled the bones long enough this time around. Thank you for engaging with me.
Until next time,
I am Phyllis, Becoming
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