Restrictions and Definitions

Greetings to All!

Leonard Bernstein said, "Inspiration is wonderful when it happens, but the writer must develop an approach for the rest of the time...The wait is simply too long." Sometimes we have to take a step, write the story, be grateful for inspiration that seeps in and trust. And, I might add, the wait is not without activity. The wait is full of life; it is full of the perceived restrictions or definitions, and they all weighted with some value.

Sitting here with a great cup of coffee this morning, contemplating how long it has been since I posted to this blog, I am filled with gratitude for all the definitions and restrictions of my life that have filled the many days since I last posted. What gifts, what sweetness, what lovely energy.

I've turned 69, and was delighted that my birthday was on 1-11-11. What fun. The day spent with Mom was very sweet, reminiscing, enjoying lunch together, partially defining our lives by the years we have shared and the memories only she holds; memories that help to define me as well; memories I tuck away to share with the next generation.

Previous to that I was in Duluth, enjoying a sunny, cold weekend in the warmth and bustling energy of my wonderful church family and the snug home of my generous hostess. And following my birthday I moved in with my son and his youngest - and the enthusiastic dogs - to fill in for Carin while she chaperoned Andrea's class on a field trip. For two days I was defined by their lives, their definitions of life, and it was more like a vacation than a task because I chose it to be.

Back home to clients and conversations by phone and email with new Dream Team members, then church and friends, I observed how we all move from one activity to another, learning ourselves in various roles as we always have, yet seeking new definitions - and where we can - definitions without restriction. Clients are so good at demonstrating this, but so are all the people around us when we observe and absorb what is also ours.

I decide who I am as a grandmother. What do I share with each of these children that links us forever and does not bore them to tears? How does this bridge in Consciousness help us to define who we can be together and apart, but never unpaired? I asked Shannon if she would like me to read her a story at bedtime. "No, I want a fake story," she said. She sets me back from time to time. "Fake" stories are those that come out of my mind; stories that, when they come from inspiration, delight all of us because they are new to me, too. Inspiration provided not just one story, but as Shannon said, "OH, a story inside a story!" that also introduced another dimension/chapter that we will share next time. I am more than I was before they arrived on Earth, because some restrictions fall away in their presence.

The Dream Team is officially global. We now have a member from Melbourne, Australia. I am delighted, and galvanized by the interest of so many inspired dreamers, to create the web site and e-mailbox now that my son has given me some pointers on what might work best.

We decide. What do I believe is a restriction, and what definitions fit, still, in this time of new beginnings? We are most definitely in the time of learning ourselves in a new light. We can continue to be shaped by our past; defined and restricted by memories and old patterns. Or we can hold the memories like scrapbooked photos and choose what remains, briefly, perhaps, defining ourselves by a new template without restricting our capacity to shape-shift.

Birthing, bursting forth, wriggling in delight as we free ourselves from the birth canal, not once but again and again. "Oh, that story was me, but I am not restricted by the pages of my own book. I decide. I fake it 'til I make it. I am inspired by the story in my mind that, in a constant state of evolution, informs me about who I am and who I choose to become. I am the dreamer and the dream; the story told and the story yet to be told. I decide."

Until the next chapter,

I am Phyllis, still Becoming