Stress Release and So Much More

Greetings in Gratitude!

Having just spent the night at the emergency room with Mom, I will spend part of this day catching up on sleep and part of it contemplating a clear intention to assist both Mom and myself in reducing her stress around aging and dealing with the uncommon incidents aging produces.

All is well. She fell forward into a doorjamb on Wednesday and hit her head hard, but she was fine until last night when she woke with headache and increased swelling. The short of it is we had great folks to help us in the E.R. and she got an AOK from the doc.

How we deal with stress is a recurring subject this week, so here we are. One friend relates that a person from her history has lost memory of their time together, apparently related to a very stressful incident that occurred at the same time. Mom and I discussed her loss of memory about things that happened at the time her 2nd husband was dying. One of my kids has a distorted, compressed memory of the time of my divorce. Amnesia may complicate the story of our lives, but it has benefits.

The brain has a finite capacity to cope with stress and triggers a defense mechanism that allows us to process and function in a survival mode. It's a natural survival mechanism, really. And Mind is fully operational while mental, emotional and physical functions may be depressed.

This reminds me of driving one night, crossing the old I35 bridge downtown, and suddenly slamming into my body - from where I do not know. I have no memory of where I was while I was driving. Driving while out-of-body, I am assured, is more competent driving than the alternative. We know how to operate perfectly through Mind. The brain is born of density, and while necessary and sacred, is not the part of us to rely upon.

I made a comment to a friend yesterday in an email that her process was like pulling herself through a knothole backwards, not because I recommend this, but because it felt like the place she found herself, and giving it character might help. Well, this a.m. I got her email and realized I had planted an image that was negative, so feeling into the opposite image, System said to use "helium-filled thought balloons" to follow her process. Ahhh, so much better.

We are not relegated to the drama of stress and its accompanying fallout. We can engage Mind to manage any situation. And we can share the benefit with others (Mom) with simple intention. It is always and inevitably present and available. We use it all the time without realizing it. To be intentional with Mind, we breathe. Of course, the trigger to Cosmic Consciousness/Mind/System is always the breath. It works for heads of state, for janitors at the Pentagon, for doctors, for inventors, for wait-people, for mothers and fathers, and for caregivers of all stripes. It always works when we let it. It always works when we BREATHE.

Until next time, breathing,

I am Phyllis, Becoming

The Infinite and a Finite Spider

Greetings in Gratitude!

Just a few things today, perhaps related, maybe not. Well, we know all things are related, but I guess you know what I mean.

Spiders. I'm not fond of them. I can appreciate them from afar, but have one suddenly appear at eye level and I'm a kid again with the repetitive and haunting dream of spiders all over me in the dark. Shivers of revulsion. And I've had two this week. I am not a killer, but my reflexes are faster than you'd think for a 68-year-old woman. I blessed and thanked it after it was dead. Oh, well. And then this morning as I was waking up, another one, in the dark, dropping from the ceiling. And then I couldn't find it. So I'm up. I'll make the bed later. It's early.

I could call the office and have the exterminator come, but for me that is no option. The nasty chemicals are worse than spiders. Now, if I had roaches (TYG I don't have roaches). No, if I had roaches I would use my own remedy and I would wish them all dead with no apologies.

Up before dawn, I've enjoyed my usual ritual of standing at my open patio door, thanking the Mother and the Father for this unique and lovely day. There are sufficient lingering clouds to catch the sunrise and offer us the gifts of color to birth the day. I love dawn.

I've posted a photo with this blog now. It's the best picture of my sis, Judith, and myself that I can remember. And I celebrate teaching myself how to isolate one photo and export it to the blog. Teaching myself things about my computer is another thing I love. There is so much to celebrate in this life.

Yesterday I was suddenly inspired to pull a folder holding all my rental information. So I was leafing through current and old lease agreements, and there was a trifold note that looked familiar somehow. It's a note that accompanied fees from Barbara Lynn, dated June, 2007, the month she died. I don't know how it slipped into that file. I faintly remember receiving it, but had not seen it since her sudden leap from this life to the next. So I knew she was trying to get my attention. She kept saying, "Conversation." So we have been having a conversation.

I realize once again how much easier it is for me to translate a message for a client than it is for me to have a personal conversation with friends and family who have "passed on." (They've gone nowhere, so I'm determined to find new language for those whose bodies die.) Anyway, teacher that she is, Barbara is helping me practice this ongoing and delightful communication between dimensions. Thank you, Barbara. Our friendship is alive and well, and I am grateful.

I've heard that we are never more than 6 feet away from a spider. System tells me that spiders symbolize infinity and capturing the dreams. All of the messages of my past three days have certainly been connected. I celebrate the simplicities of life and my teachers in it.

Until next time, breathing with you,

I am Phyllis, Still Becoming

The Power of Being

Greetings in Gratitude!

Simply Being. This is not the territory into which I was born. Oh, it was there. We are all born with this Wisdom stored within us. But the conscious self was not geared to simply Being. The irony of this journey back to where we all came from is certainly enlightening. And it tests us.

I woke this a.m. with a plan in place. My wonderful Faun, the Buick created last year at this time, is in need of brakes, so I'd planned this day to have it done. I hadn't been up long before I began hearing, "Tuesday." Tuesday, what? Clearly, Tuesday to have the brakes done. My stubborn, logical self, said, "No, today is the day I have planned and nothing else to do." "Tuesday," IT said.

I know this comes from my Wise Self. I know there is a reason - not fully realized yet. I am not at the service station, so my Wise Self has convinced me, while at the same time, I am feeling a bit shiftless for not having gone. Some gifts have already come from not going. First, time to write and share with all of you, then....

Nancy and I chatted and she pointed out the newest - July 9 - posting on the website called

Crop Circle Connector. If you choose to go there, it's www.cropcircleconnector.com. It takes a little practice to locate what you want, but it is well worth the navigation. Click on the bar Latest Crop Circles and then to EJuly (early July) and go to July 9th. We agree that anyone who has questioned the authenticity of the crop circles must take another look. This one is certainly out-of-this-world amazing. There are several aerial views, and I hear, "All knowledge contained within," as I let myself sink into the close-up view.

An obvious gift also comes from being at home this a.m. It is a lovely, low humidity, cool morning, simply to breathe and enjoy, and to celebrate that I am capable of living according to my Design within. My Design will inform me how I benefit from having my brakes done tomorrow. And breathing into that formless place, reveals yet another layer of confidence in spontaneous, intuitive living.

Yesterday, feeling a little more odd that usual, I said aloud, "What is this all about?" And I heard, "Expect to feel a little squirrely from time to time as you are reconstructed." My reference to this reconstruction, is, of course, my intention to become System. And so it goes. To the point, expect nothing. Not expecting, I can enjoy. Enjoying, I am attuned more to my Inner Design. Living from my Inner Design, I experience "All knowledge within." System.

Wishing you all a breath-taking day,

I am Phyllis, Still Becoming

On Being Authentic

Greetings in Gratitude!

Learning to live an authentic life, intentionally, turns out to be a really big deal. And you may have discovered, too, that asserting this intention produces perfect opportunities to hone our skills. Oh, yes, I am grateful, and delighted at how efficient we are, while noting the irony.

A woman I've not worked with previously called for a session this week. She is, herself, a trained psychic, and is very clear about achieving a specific goal in her session. Although I don't know the details, and prefer not to, this conversation raised flags for me. Working with other "psychics" is a treat for me. They are often very open and clear, and we have a great time. So this was not the challenge. But still, I was not at ease about it. This morning I realized she is my opportunity for authentic action.

Whenever we have a challenge explaining who we are, someone will come along to help us clarify our identity. As I usually do, I explained that I do not apply psychic bandaids in projections and predictions; that I am not a traditional psychic but work with folks on the human condition and understanding ourselves better. I said all the things I have learned to say about myself to help folks decide whether I am the person with whom they want to work on their agenda.

And this morning I realized that I was giving her the power to decide, and that I have been doing this for some time with new contacts. This is not authentic. This kind of conversation only confuses a situation with a new person. I have been giving away my power in the belief that the client has the right to decide whether I will work with them. Certainly, the potential client has rights, and that person has exercised those rights by calling me. Then it is my responsibility to attune myself to them while still on the phone and decide whether I choose the exchange. Listening to what the person feels they need, breathing deeply and accepting the appointment, or not, based on my sense of the possibility for an authentic exchange, I choose.

I will call the woman, my teacher it turns out, and cancel the appointment. Perhaps there is something of value I can offer in an email. But an appointment under these circumstances would be uncomfortable for me and most probably not produce what she seeks. She has her own answers, and if I can assist in her accessing that Wisdom then I will be happy to do so. In this instance, an appointment would create an artificial stage that precludes a satisfying outcome.

I am a teacher. I have expanded my consciousness to develop skills everyone has. I love to facilitate an exchange in consciousness in which the client realizes how wise they are and have always been. And I am happy to share information from those in Spirit to support my clients in whatever may serve them best. I am grateful to this woman for expanding my Wisdom in becoming authentic. Identifying myself is not explaining myself. I deserve to work with ease, and today I am more certain of this than I have ever been. Breathing, I am at peace.

Until next time, Breathing with you,

I am Phyllis, Still Becoming

NO RULES

Greetings in Gratitude!

Waking this morning with a "Thank you God for this day!" on my lips, I stretched and continued the dream I was having about a class offered to folks like me who have lived with body issues all of our lives. And even as I "taught" the class, I practiced and knew that I was learning as much or more than I was sharing, and that the core theme for the class was, "NO RULES."

This topic may be the theme of the message to my lovely church in Duluth, so this may be a preview for the service on the 18th. I never know, and have surrendered needing to know before I get there. It can change in a moment. One of my most profound experiences of true surrender has been my messages to the church over the years. I used to think I was in charge of my messages. I used to think there were rules.

It strikes me as ironic, alarming and hilarious that we are born to this planet steeped in rules and then spend the whole of our lives questioning them and deciding which of them we choose to follow and those we debunk or refuse.

Some rules seem to work for us. "Drive on the right side of the road," (at least in the USA)

works to keep us from annihilating one another. "Thou shalt not kill," works except when a government gives us permission to do otherwise. "Do not hit your children," has become a rule we've adopted, though we sometimes question its wisdom. I did not hit the child whose parents ignored his behavior in my home, no matter what he destroyed, but I picked him up by his arm and threatened bodily harm if he continued. My house, my rules. I would handle it differently now, but 46 years ago I was at a different stage of becoming. Rules change? No, we change rules.

Each of us, born of the Creator and endowed with all of Its Wisdom, already knows all things and therefore creates our rules. Ultimately, we realize that we need no rules.

Coming to terms with "no rules," related to my physical system, my weight, my health, is no easy shift. But this is where I am and I am grateful to have entered a stream of my own Wisdom that is filled with acceptance, gratitude, surrender, breath, love. No rules is a gift.

No rules is terrifying. "No rules" is a new neighborhood I am visiting.

This reminds me of a recurring dream I had as a child. I am walking up Spring Lake Road - ironically a road that has been renamed, but only in my neighborhood - and I know my house is close. I recognize the driveway, but all the houses are painted colors different from what I know they should be. I continue, though, and go the door and knock. Just as someone opens the door, I wake up. And I feel so sad, so curious, so childlike.

Was this a prophetic dream, as well as a dream borne of childhood anxieties? Here I am today in a neighborhood that feels like I know it well, but all the rules have changed. In fact, as the door opens to the place I call home - my body - I realize that no rules apply; I do not know yet who is inside nor how I will know myself. With no rules.

But I have signed on for this journey. Out of Wisdom I have created it. And through Wisdom I will breathe and bumping into each old rule, breathe again and ask if it serves me still. I know already that many do not. To be still and know myself without an old rule to guide me, to give me that momentary feeling of security that rules can provide, that is a journey I now embrace.

Each moment is a new adventure, learning to be at ease in a neighborhood familiar but changed. Each day knowing myself better as System, a state of knowing I am self-created.

Until next time, I am breathing into NO RULES,

As Phyllis, Still Becoming

A New Day

Greetings in Gratitude!

Oh, what is so blue as a sky

wreathed in sunset clouds

after the storm.

And, oh, that after any storm we look up and enjoy all that Mother Nature offers us, the sigh, the release, the promise.

Today is such a day for me, waking in tears from a dream that my mother had died, and knowing that she is just fine, and that my System is helping me grieve both the past and what will come one day.

The rain has stopped - momentarily - the painters are due to finish yesterday's work, and the carpet will be shampooed before the day is over. Happily, both the painter and the shampooer are friends of long-standing and are respectful people who cause me to feel taken care of. And don't we all deserve to feel, increasingly, that we have all the help we need and all the care one could ask for - indeed. And I called Mom who will be gone part of the day to ask if I could camp out at her place while the work is done. So I'll be off and away soon.

I've felt the need to have something profound, or at least important to me, to share with you whenever I post to this blog. But recently I've realized that simply beginning the post each day is the key, and what comes up will produce more thought, etc. So more frequent posting is my intention. Breathing, I am more relaxed in all things. Ah, so good.

Today's thought is about asking for more of what we need and desire, to open ourselves to receive, and to share with others the results. The painters noted with relief that the shampoo folks, who just stopped in, were able to so easily come back after painting is done. And I said, "That's what happens when you visualize the ballet, and that's what I've been doing since I got up." If we share, perhaps the folks in our lives will consider the question of deserving and practice the skill of speaking aloud what is personal to each of them. Whoopdeedoo!

Let's celebrate generously a full, balanced life together, in gratitude.

Until next time, breathing with you,

I am Phyllis, still becoming

The Wars Within

Greetings in Gratitude!

First, my gratitude to those of you who have given me such positive feedback on this blog. While on hiatus I was grateful for your support and a reminder that we are all connected, whatever the circumstances. Struck by new thought and energy all of you are on my mind.

For some years I have known that I am sensitive to daily products. I stopped using milk long ago. But the symptoms seemed a small price to pay for enjoying cheese, ice cream, etc. And I have held a belief that whatever the symptom, with intention and attention anything can be released. So I have experimented, indulged and negotiated with my system to continue the use of dairy. Then I broke out with a miserable itchy patch of eczema from neck to collarbone, and the misery of it prompted a discovery process.

I'll interrupt that discovery to relate the process of I use to release any symptom.

Speak first to the symptom, and it could be mental, emotional or physical. Thank the symptom for holding the wisdom you need to improve your life. Thank it for its wisdom and for the service it provides. In this instance I thanked my skin. Give it permission to inform you of that wisdom, breathe and relax into the breath, surrendering any thought or emotion. Give it permission to recall its perfect function. It will, when ready, give you a message, and further surrender will offer you the opportunity to integrate the benefits.

Yesterday I followed this process, and today the symptom is much less itchy and red. This morning, talking with Nancy, I realized several things about our symptoms and stored memory.

All symptoms are stored in layers of our mental, emotional and physical experience. This I have always believed. What I had not realized is the belief I have also held that I had some responsibility to hold it until I fully understood it or resolved/defeated it. And to further add to the impact, this is a family symptom; my sister, granddaughter, niece, nephew and probably others all have some reaction to dairy products. And it seems that when we share a symptom with other family members, we may hold a fatalistic acceptance that the symptoms are inherited, therefore inevitable. Oh, it is karmic, but not inevitable.

This morning I saw myself again as a knight of the Knights Templar, fighting to assert the cause, fighting to protect my principles. Then I saw the young woman, Laurel, who is another of my soul's identities, fighting against the tyranny of my captors in the WWII prison camp.

Each feels self-righteous and beleaguered. Each has courage combined with a sense of doom.

Those memories underly my beliefs of survival. My ancient self affects my present-day self.

I produce symptoms related to more than dairy. Dairy serves as the trigger.

Revealing my symptoms is key to my becoming System.

I have revealed that my system believes it is necessary to go to battle to prove myself worthy; to persist until I understand and prove the worth in the struggle.

It still believes in struggle. Yes, I teach best what I most need to learn.*

And I know now that my war in the emotional system rages in my physical system. And that the war in my system uses energy I could use elsewhere. My calories are used to maintain the struggle. My system fights against dairy, and I suffer a loss of energy.

Vitality wanes as the war between the physical and emotional rages.

I will use my breath to release dairy from my system. Remaining in my moment, and speaking with love to my system, I retrieve my balance and relieve the struggle of those who have served me for centuries. I thank every part of me that has held all of this for my benefit.

Until next time,

I am, Phyllis, still becoming

*Richard Bach in ILLUSIONS