New Moon Reflections

Hello again!


With joy in this amazing, sunny day, I'm in a New Moon reflection and hopeful that while in this strongly pulling energy I can relate what's in my heart.


These days I am blessed to be connected, through a dear friend, with a  man whose family has created a Caring Bridge site to support him during a journey through cancer.  As I posted to the site this morning, I could feel the network created by a huge number of people supporting Mike; that it exceeds the traditional limitations of knowing one another to support such a worthy man.
The network looked like a huge hammock, lifting him up and cradling him in love.


Many years ago, System said that one of Earth's most essential objectives is to erase "borders, boundaries and barriers."  That we would do this through many challenges, one of the first of which was the Aids epidemic.  We were, at that time, beginning to understand that the disease was not limited to one segment of humanity.  No, it was and is a disease that knows no boundaries.  System also said that the Gay community had volunteered - at a soul level, of course- to carry this stigma until such time as we realized the truth of it.


Since then we have seen people reaching out to one another, increasingly absent of the bigotry.  We have also seen our capacity  to reach out to support people all over the planet needing help following chaotic events.


We are, by such acts of love, disappearing "other-ness."  There are no others.  There is only us, you and me unified in this human now.


Breathing with you,
I am Phyl-El

Live Amazed!

Good Wednesday Morning!


Borrowing from Joyce Meyer this morning, I am reminded to "Live Amazed!"  There are so many things in this world that I do not have to do today, conditions that are not mine today, assignments I do not feel compelled to complete.  Good.  Wow.  Thank you, God.  And so I am amazed at my life.  I am grateful for the fullness of it.  I am breathing into the amazing facets of my life that sometimes I can accept as normal, forgetting what a miracle God and I have created.  My life.   What you and God have created.  Your life.


And borrowing from a client session yesterday, I heard myself saying, "We cannot project anything without disappointing ourselves." Not because what we project will not be true.  On the contrary,  it's because what we project we may in fact create, and it may be short of the dream, the Mystery, the Miracle.


Personally, I do not want to create anything less than the most awesome thing possible.  My goodness, what motivation!  My practice, as I said in my last post, is to breathe into this moment as the sacred All That Is, the I Am, in which every amazing thing in my Creation already exists.  Breathing into my immediate Creation, I am informed by it.  And so one moment, one breath,  flows into the next. 


Yesterday I also felt the gravity of living in harmony with our inner child.  Now, sometimes the child within wants to have a tantrum.  Old pain comes up and will not be ignored.  The child wants to say, holler, spit, stomp feet about what she/he was never allowed to express.  One of my favorite places to scream is in my car. No one hears me, and if anyone notices as I am sailing down the freeway, so what?


Sometimes, often in fact, the child wants to express joy, pure unadulterated freedom from any restrictions or self-consciousness.
When I wrote last week about going to the flower show downtown, I didn't tell you that when I get on the city bus to go downtown, the 12-year-old in me is excited and a little nervous.  I am on my own. I have no one to answer to, no schedule, no rules.  When my mother first let me go downtown to the dentist alone and I first got on that bus all by myself, I was very nervous.  But also thrilled.


Now, at 70, I can still feel it.  Dayton's was a delicious place to dream; the place where I bought my first lipstick at 15.  Fanny Farmer Candy stores that no longer exist were the place where I would carefully choose an oh-so-delicious piece of candy to eat while waiting for the bus to go home.  (Insert irony here: I'd have just been to the dentist)  Today I choose to savor a steaming cup of Americano purchased at a coffee shop on Macy's lower level.


Indulging myself, my inner child, is important.  We live crowded lives.  So many assignments wait for our attention.  Breathing, I am better in touch with the child in me.  She waits for my attention and is not shy about telling me what she wants - when I will listen. 


Sometimes symptoms in my life tell me that she must be heard.  I must cry hard, creating a space for big emotions.  Or I must give myself permission to break out of patterns by playing.  Sometimes that is best done in the company of my grandchildren, but many times it is best done alone - on a swing in the park, on the city bus, alone at a theater, in my car going nowhere looking up at the moon.


I have love and breath.  That's it.  In this time, reflecting on life as I know it, those two contain all things.


Amazed,
I am Phyl-El

Perspiration & Payoffs

Hello, again!

We've heard it all:  Let go and let God, Breathe, stay in the moment, Allow, Surrender.  We hear them, these loving and persistent messages and we follow the direction as best we can, knowing it works in our favor when we do, when we can.

Tomorrow will be fine when it comes.  It doesn't need me to monitor it.  It's almost 3 p.m.  Four p.m. doesn't need me there, to make sure everything then will be OK.  I breathe.

Yesterday, getting up, I heard, "threat."  And after a detailed dream last night, I realize that I have brought to this life an expectation, an underlying dread as real as my sense of smell, that colors the quality of my life.

I'm a upbeat person.  I live with an intention that is not forced - most of the time - to live with a positive, life-is-good attitude.  I am not entirely surprised to realize that the conditioning of this life and the effect of countless other lifetimes cause me to unconsciously expect a threat to overcome my conscious intention to live with a smile on my face and an expectation of goodness in the world.  Because, although I am a positive person, I have become aware that the symptoms of 'threat' are crowding to the forefront to demand my attention.

When I am not threatened, when my life if flowing along,  I realize that I create situations that will challenge me.  I push the envelope, however unconsciously, to give me something to prove against, something to exercise my ingenuity, some creative 'opportunity' to succeed in spite of, or because of, the challenge.


Living with the influence of 'threat,' I am poised to address it, even when I am not aware I am poised.  But now that my life is built on breath, I have become aware how much energy it takes to be poised for the onslaught.  Oh, my.  


Today is a day to breathe, yes, and to remain with intention in this moment exactly as it is.  In this breath I have no attention on anything past or future.  In this breath I am at peace and sharply aware that in this pattern anything deserving my attention is more richly addressed when I am at rest.


Breathing with you,
I am Phyl-El

Transparency

Hello on this Perfect Thursday,


This being authentic, really transparent, can feel like a lot of work.  All that we are is a collective, the results of a journey, along which we gather so many patterns and beliefs, so much behavior that coming to terms with it can feel all consuming.  It's like taking a walk and having to bend down and overturn every stone on the path.  What's under there?  Is this real, can I live with that, who is it that I choose deliberately to be? 


The results are huge, of course.  Walking more lightly on this good Earth is a payoff I celebrate.  At the same time, some of those rocks have been holding tightly to the Earth.  Prying them loose makes me sweat.  It's a good sweat, like the one I felt on my body this morning after 45 minutes of aerobic activity.  I know I'm making progress when I perspire and I can feel the toxins releasing from my muscles.  Good work.


The treadmill I use in the Fitness Center is programmed, when I come to the end of my walk, to read, "Great Workout!"  No such digital message appears on my mental screen when I've achieved some release of one of those occluding rocks.  I've realized how important it is for me to hug myself, appreciate what I've accomplished, because as good as the result is, my appearance does not change with internal work as it does with physical exercise. 


Oh, just a minute there, I realize that I've revealed to myself a truth about that:  the changes do show as I smile more, as my energy is more open to others, as I am more available to loved ones and to strangers.  When we hide less, we obviously walk more in Light.
And that will always make a difference.   I join with all of you who walk this path and say, "Great Workout!"


Breathing,
I am Phyl-El

April 11

Hello, Everyone,


Happy April 11!  Yes, I know it means nothing to most folks, but for me it is a quarter point in my personal calendar and an anniversary for several significant events over the years.  So, I am reflective today and prompted to post here what came in yesterday. First I want to thank an old friend for interpreting my name.  She says, according to the Greek, Phyl means 'love of,' which I did not know and El is a name for God, which I did know.  So thank you, Barbara for sharing the meaning of my 'new' name.  


Following a meditation nap yesterday, I asked what was most important and heard, "The Golden Spiral."  Looking it up on Wikipedia, well it's best if you're interested that you read it there for yourself.  When I asked its significance for me/us, I was told it holds a mathematically perfect memory of all informational files ever recorded.  And, that these files, holding all of Earth's memory, are key to holding it in place and on track for its cosmic purpose.


Even as I write this, getting clarification as I type, I realize again that our language is a limitation when trying to describe any energetic.  I do know that with intention to serve the planet, we are engaged with The Golden Spiral.  All of its algorithmic construct is within us, of course, and we are at the center of its movement, better served by it when we know of it, as we now do, and as we affirm our intention toward it.


Taking a deep breath, affirming my intention toward being as authentic as humanly possible, I feel myself more anchored and more open to Wisdom.  My feeling is this will lead to more and I will be happy to report as it comes in.


With gratitude,
I am Phyl-El

The Light

Happy Easter Weekend, Passover and Full Moon!

The sky this morning is a panoramic reflection of all our Easter colors; the purples, yellows, pinks, and that color that defies the dictionary.  I marvel that I was drenched in these same colors this week as I, twice, visited Macy's and Bachman's annual flower show in downtown Minneapolis. 

As I stopped in my tracks at the inexplicably iridescent orchid at the end of the path, I said, "This must be the color of God."  A clerk I spoke with later said he asked one of the show designers if it had been colorized because it looked like Thomas Kinkade had painted it with light inside.  Inside the purples, but with indigo, oh and magenta, all at once, radiating light.  Everyone stopped, mesmerized by these blooms.

When we hear about the drama in this old world of ours, when we wonder at humanity's decline, we are better served by a deep breath that absorbs the vibration of such colors, whether in the flowers or in the sky.  And what better time than this week of sacred celebrations to celebrate God's infinite capacity to create whatever it is that we need.


The color of our world is the color of us.  We are iridescent, we are vibrant, we radiate the light of God from within us.  The words we speak, the breath we share, the light of the smile in our eyes all return the gifts we receive.  


Namaste

  

Today's Intention

Hello, again!


Today is a day to clarify my intention, at this time, in this new energy, with this identity emerging and this is it:


To cease counting, anything, now to live in the Divine Equation.