On Being Authentic

Greetings in Gratitude!

Learning to live an authentic life, intentionally, turns out to be a really big deal. And you may have discovered, too, that asserting this intention produces perfect opportunities to hone our skills. Oh, yes, I am grateful, and delighted at how efficient we are, while noting the irony.

A woman I've not worked with previously called for a session this week. She is, herself, a trained psychic, and is very clear about achieving a specific goal in her session. Although I don't know the details, and prefer not to, this conversation raised flags for me. Working with other "psychics" is a treat for me. They are often very open and clear, and we have a great time. So this was not the challenge. But still, I was not at ease about it. This morning I realized she is my opportunity for authentic action.

Whenever we have a challenge explaining who we are, someone will come along to help us clarify our identity. As I usually do, I explained that I do not apply psychic bandaids in projections and predictions; that I am not a traditional psychic but work with folks on the human condition and understanding ourselves better. I said all the things I have learned to say about myself to help folks decide whether I am the person with whom they want to work on their agenda.

And this morning I realized that I was giving her the power to decide, and that I have been doing this for some time with new contacts. This is not authentic. This kind of conversation only confuses a situation with a new person. I have been giving away my power in the belief that the client has the right to decide whether I will work with them. Certainly, the potential client has rights, and that person has exercised those rights by calling me. Then it is my responsibility to attune myself to them while still on the phone and decide whether I choose the exchange. Listening to what the person feels they need, breathing deeply and accepting the appointment, or not, based on my sense of the possibility for an authentic exchange, I choose.

I will call the woman, my teacher it turns out, and cancel the appointment. Perhaps there is something of value I can offer in an email. But an appointment under these circumstances would be uncomfortable for me and most probably not produce what she seeks. She has her own answers, and if I can assist in her accessing that Wisdom then I will be happy to do so. In this instance, an appointment would create an artificial stage that precludes a satisfying outcome.

I am a teacher. I have expanded my consciousness to develop skills everyone has. I love to facilitate an exchange in consciousness in which the client realizes how wise they are and have always been. And I am happy to share information from those in Spirit to support my clients in whatever may serve them best. I am grateful to this woman for expanding my Wisdom in becoming authentic. Identifying myself is not explaining myself. I deserve to work with ease, and today I am more certain of this than I have ever been. Breathing, I am at peace.

Until next time, Breathing with you,

I am Phyllis, Still Becoming

NO RULES

Greetings in Gratitude!

Waking this morning with a "Thank you God for this day!" on my lips, I stretched and continued the dream I was having about a class offered to folks like me who have lived with body issues all of our lives. And even as I "taught" the class, I practiced and knew that I was learning as much or more than I was sharing, and that the core theme for the class was, "NO RULES."

This topic may be the theme of the message to my lovely church in Duluth, so this may be a preview for the service on the 18th. I never know, and have surrendered needing to know before I get there. It can change in a moment. One of my most profound experiences of true surrender has been my messages to the church over the years. I used to think I was in charge of my messages. I used to think there were rules.

It strikes me as ironic, alarming and hilarious that we are born to this planet steeped in rules and then spend the whole of our lives questioning them and deciding which of them we choose to follow and those we debunk or refuse.

Some rules seem to work for us. "Drive on the right side of the road," (at least in the USA)

works to keep us from annihilating one another. "Thou shalt not kill," works except when a government gives us permission to do otherwise. "Do not hit your children," has become a rule we've adopted, though we sometimes question its wisdom. I did not hit the child whose parents ignored his behavior in my home, no matter what he destroyed, but I picked him up by his arm and threatened bodily harm if he continued. My house, my rules. I would handle it differently now, but 46 years ago I was at a different stage of becoming. Rules change? No, we change rules.

Each of us, born of the Creator and endowed with all of Its Wisdom, already knows all things and therefore creates our rules. Ultimately, we realize that we need no rules.

Coming to terms with "no rules," related to my physical system, my weight, my health, is no easy shift. But this is where I am and I am grateful to have entered a stream of my own Wisdom that is filled with acceptance, gratitude, surrender, breath, love. No rules is a gift.

No rules is terrifying. "No rules" is a new neighborhood I am visiting.

This reminds me of a recurring dream I had as a child. I am walking up Spring Lake Road - ironically a road that has been renamed, but only in my neighborhood - and I know my house is close. I recognize the driveway, but all the houses are painted colors different from what I know they should be. I continue, though, and go the door and knock. Just as someone opens the door, I wake up. And I feel so sad, so curious, so childlike.

Was this a prophetic dream, as well as a dream borne of childhood anxieties? Here I am today in a neighborhood that feels like I know it well, but all the rules have changed. In fact, as the door opens to the place I call home - my body - I realize that no rules apply; I do not know yet who is inside nor how I will know myself. With no rules.

But I have signed on for this journey. Out of Wisdom I have created it. And through Wisdom I will breathe and bumping into each old rule, breathe again and ask if it serves me still. I know already that many do not. To be still and know myself without an old rule to guide me, to give me that momentary feeling of security that rules can provide, that is a journey I now embrace.

Each moment is a new adventure, learning to be at ease in a neighborhood familiar but changed. Each day knowing myself better as System, a state of knowing I am self-created.

Until next time, I am breathing into NO RULES,

As Phyllis, Still Becoming

A New Day

Greetings in Gratitude!

Oh, what is so blue as a sky

wreathed in sunset clouds

after the storm.

And, oh, that after any storm we look up and enjoy all that Mother Nature offers us, the sigh, the release, the promise.

Today is such a day for me, waking in tears from a dream that my mother had died, and knowing that she is just fine, and that my System is helping me grieve both the past and what will come one day.

The rain has stopped - momentarily - the painters are due to finish yesterday's work, and the carpet will be shampooed before the day is over. Happily, both the painter and the shampooer are friends of long-standing and are respectful people who cause me to feel taken care of. And don't we all deserve to feel, increasingly, that we have all the help we need and all the care one could ask for - indeed. And I called Mom who will be gone part of the day to ask if I could camp out at her place while the work is done. So I'll be off and away soon.

I've felt the need to have something profound, or at least important to me, to share with you whenever I post to this blog. But recently I've realized that simply beginning the post each day is the key, and what comes up will produce more thought, etc. So more frequent posting is my intention. Breathing, I am more relaxed in all things. Ah, so good.

Today's thought is about asking for more of what we need and desire, to open ourselves to receive, and to share with others the results. The painters noted with relief that the shampoo folks, who just stopped in, were able to so easily come back after painting is done. And I said, "That's what happens when you visualize the ballet, and that's what I've been doing since I got up." If we share, perhaps the folks in our lives will consider the question of deserving and practice the skill of speaking aloud what is personal to each of them. Whoopdeedoo!

Let's celebrate generously a full, balanced life together, in gratitude.

Until next time, breathing with you,

I am Phyllis, still becoming

The Wars Within

Greetings in Gratitude!

First, my gratitude to those of you who have given me such positive feedback on this blog. While on hiatus I was grateful for your support and a reminder that we are all connected, whatever the circumstances. Struck by new thought and energy all of you are on my mind.

For some years I have known that I am sensitive to daily products. I stopped using milk long ago. But the symptoms seemed a small price to pay for enjoying cheese, ice cream, etc. And I have held a belief that whatever the symptom, with intention and attention anything can be released. So I have experimented, indulged and negotiated with my system to continue the use of dairy. Then I broke out with a miserable itchy patch of eczema from neck to collarbone, and the misery of it prompted a discovery process.

I'll interrupt that discovery to relate the process of I use to release any symptom.

Speak first to the symptom, and it could be mental, emotional or physical. Thank the symptom for holding the wisdom you need to improve your life. Thank it for its wisdom and for the service it provides. In this instance I thanked my skin. Give it permission to inform you of that wisdom, breathe and relax into the breath, surrendering any thought or emotion. Give it permission to recall its perfect function. It will, when ready, give you a message, and further surrender will offer you the opportunity to integrate the benefits.

Yesterday I followed this process, and today the symptom is much less itchy and red. This morning, talking with Nancy, I realized several things about our symptoms and stored memory.

All symptoms are stored in layers of our mental, emotional and physical experience. This I have always believed. What I had not realized is the belief I have also held that I had some responsibility to hold it until I fully understood it or resolved/defeated it. And to further add to the impact, this is a family symptom; my sister, granddaughter, niece, nephew and probably others all have some reaction to dairy products. And it seems that when we share a symptom with other family members, we may hold a fatalistic acceptance that the symptoms are inherited, therefore inevitable. Oh, it is karmic, but not inevitable.

This morning I saw myself again as a knight of the Knights Templar, fighting to assert the cause, fighting to protect my principles. Then I saw the young woman, Laurel, who is another of my soul's identities, fighting against the tyranny of my captors in the WWII prison camp.

Each feels self-righteous and beleaguered. Each has courage combined with a sense of doom.

Those memories underly my beliefs of survival. My ancient self affects my present-day self.

I produce symptoms related to more than dairy. Dairy serves as the trigger.

Revealing my symptoms is key to my becoming System.

I have revealed that my system believes it is necessary to go to battle to prove myself worthy; to persist until I understand and prove the worth in the struggle.

It still believes in struggle. Yes, I teach best what I most need to learn.*

And I know now that my war in the emotional system rages in my physical system. And that the war in my system uses energy I could use elsewhere. My calories are used to maintain the struggle. My system fights against dairy, and I suffer a loss of energy.

Vitality wanes as the war between the physical and emotional rages.

I will use my breath to release dairy from my system. Remaining in my moment, and speaking with love to my system, I retrieve my balance and relieve the struggle of those who have served me for centuries. I thank every part of me that has held all of this for my benefit.

Until next time,

I am, Phyllis, still becoming

*Richard Bach in ILLUSIONS

Faith Precedes Us

Greetings in Gratitude!

Heartened by President Obama's speech last night, I am inspired to write in support of what I feel is the deeper message of his speech.

Certainly, I felt he covered the subject of the oil spill with authority and inspired intention.

And I appreciated that the usual array of pundits were not present immediately to dispel the energy of such a critical message.

What compelled me was his closing message of faith. He did not flinch when he asserted his faith in God. He did not make a limited and careful statement meant to save the feelings of those who might not share his faith. He went to the core and made several assertions of God as a vibrant part of the United States of America.

Our population is growing in faith, while the government is dancing into neutrality. We need to stand for our beliefs, whatever they may be. Faith is a tangible and essential part of living.

From whatever stream of consciousness we come, let us speak our faith. Let us take strength from all who do, including our president, and express what we believe. God needs us and we need God. This a reciprocal pact.

This may sound strange coming from a person who is learning intentionally to be System. But does your biological father cease to exist when you take your power and become the adult?

Some things precede us. In fact more precedes us than we can comprehend. One of those things is a faith in something greater than ourselves. This faith is not something learned in Sunday school. This faith is a cellular memory that supports our life force and carries us through the unthinkable events in human experience. It gets us up in the morning and supports our dreams as we sleep.

I am celebrating today the uplifting and unifying message from our president that caused a very Republican relative to applaud the speech. We are starving for unity, we are aching to express faith, not to be seen as zealots but as clearly thinking, focused members of the human race and citizens of the United States of America.

Until next time, Breathing with you,

I am Phyllis, Still Becoming

A View from My Windows

Greetings in Gratitude!

Looking at my world more objectively as I continue the journey into System, my viewpoint is like a window. There are obvious benefits in looking through windows instead of reactive involvement. And it's an odd perspective sometimes, learning a new way of being in this life.

One window I enjoyed the other night was in a dream. I was looking at a diagonally-placed rectangle hanging in mid-air. I knew it was a physics problem that I was affecting or solving.

My involvement was energetic only. I was not touching it. I was learning it as I moved and changed it.

Over the months since I stated my intention to become System, I have had several dreams that are related to physics and sacred geometry. I know the process is about transforming me, but it is also about affecting the energetics of the planet as we all learn a new way of being human.

We are all beings of energy. We are learning that we do not have to be physically present in a situation that concerns us. We make a difference by expanding our personal energy with breath and holding the person or situation in that sacred space for as long as our attention remains focused. The sacred space for me is within the shape of the symbol I wear which came to me in a waking vision years ago. This symbol represents the Christ Consciousness on the planet and is of special meaning to me.

When I tell a person I will pray for them, I no longer explain that I do not pray in the traditional way. The prayers of supplication comforted us in the past, yet no longer suit the new human form.

All the elements of System, however you choose to call that entity or being, already knows what is needed. The Consciousness of the planet or of a person is the Wisdom, and it knows what it needs. I take a deep breath and holding that person, place or situation in this sacred space I know I am there energetically.

We make a connection with that System that supports it with whatever is needed. We do not decide what is needed. IT knows and receives our energy in partnership, support, unconditional love.

Many of you reading this already understand what this means. I am blessed to know so many folks who have their own means of offering their energy for the benefit of others. The planet and individuals enjoy release, comfort and positive change by the gifts we offer from a distance - or in person sitting on a rock, gazing at the sacred water, or with a hug, holding a hand or gazing into soulful eyes. The energy is shared consciousness, and it needs no instruction.

And so I embrace all of you reading this in that sacred space, and breathing, know we are connected and nurtured by one another. Thank you!

Until next time, Breathing,

I AM Phyllis, Still Becoming

Greetings in Gratitude!

Becoming System is not for the faint of heart. I'll explain "becoming System" in a moment, but just let me say first what so many have said when finding themselves in the middle of a new creation; a creation intended, with results unexpected: If I'd known what I was getting myself into, I wouldn't have.

Now, truly, even in the middle of this I know I would have begun anyway. Why? Because I am so awfully (insert any cuss word you like) curious. And being curious has its huge rewards, and even though the price can be high, I'm willing to pay it. I do really know this is my path. As if I never had a choice. But that is part of the Mystery; I simply accept some things I know are true.

About 20 years ago what I then called, "Spirit," said to me, "Humanity is on the brink of the greatest leap in consciousness it will ever know; the leap from believing itself to be part of - and subject to - many systems, to knowing itself to BE SYSTEM.

And so we are in such a process. Whether it be spiritual, governmental, economic, medical, educational, systems have evolved with us as such powerful forces that we have believed they have the power, not us. Yes, we rail against them, we object, we reclaim our power from time to time, but reacting against a thing gives it power. We have a conditioned reaction to being part of systems over which we believe we have no say, no latitude. Spirit said that day, "This is the biggest lie." Each person is System, with all its attributes, all of its power and responsibility, with limitless energy to create.

So we are evolving into, recalling gradually, that we are System. We are born of, therefore have all the genetically generated qualities of, the System that created us. Whether you call it System or call it Creator or God is your choice. You are it, so call it whatever suits you.

We are recalling that we are System. We are reclaiming our birthright, and it does not require a protest, a revolutionary war or a letter to our congressman to achieve it. It requires surrender, and it means surrendering many of the ways in which we have known ourselves. I should interject here that you are not required to intentionally hoist your sail to journey in this direction. Many will do so and will do so for the many, just as it has always been. But if you intend yourself to join the movement, then know the journey has its ups and downs.

One thing in my current journey is coffee. I have been a dedicated and addicted coffee drinker, one might say aficionado, most of my adult life. My sister, Judith, and I have said that we could handle any change except, "Please don't take away our coffee!" And here I am, not drinking coffee. Just woke up one morning a few weeks ago and forgot to make coffee. Oh, the ritual, the fragrance, the satisfying first sips of a mug of really good, dark coffee. Gone. This past weekend with Anita here, I made coffee for her and had a few sips to see if I might simply have been in some strange slump, but, no, its magic seems to have evaporated.

An interesting correlation seems to be that when System guided me to re-mineralize my drinking water with sea salt a couple of months ago, I seem to have corrected something in my physical system that has released my craving for coffee. My Vitamin Bible says that coffee leaches essential minerals out of our systems, so it seems I was guided to replenish those minerals and the result is this shift in my habits.

While on the subject, our friend Nancy has been gleaning information about the changes in Earth's magnetics, and System has been directing me to explore similar patterns. My own magnetics have apparently changed as I have replenished minerals lost through years of drinking coffee. And, yesterday I realized that this is all a part of my becoming System.

Just to clarify. We are all System. So when I refer to System leading me, I am saying that I have not yet recalled myself as System. I am in the evolution of recalling myself as system and while doing so still refer to System as a guiding force; me, but not yet fully realized.

I have shared with you who read this blog and with many clients and friends that my energy has fluctuated over the past couple of years. There have been times when just returning a phone call has been too much; when making a meal was an effort. I've been in a state of learning to receive through surrender, and it has been a most unique experience. I am grateful to say that I have made much progress. Retrieving myself is a relief, and the journey continues.

Continuing to realize new levels of surrender and releasing old patterns are parts of recalling myself as System. Another condition of this journey is standing as the observer, watching my self and my life. I actually saw another me walking alongside me one day. Same person, same clothing, another me walking beside me. Waking to the true observer self, more objective, more dispassionate, is a part of recalling System as Self/Self as System.

I've wrung as much out of this as I can right now. Wherever you are, whatever you are doing or intend to do, I know change is a theme for most of you. And it will come with greater ease as we breathe and surrender - together.

Until next time,

I AM Phyllis, Still Becoming